Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Flash cards

Tried flashing a set of 40 picture cards (Fruits & Vegetables I got from Popular) to Nicholas for 3 consecutive days and he seems to enjoy the activity very much. Would attentively look at the cards and after some warm-up, even utter lots of sounds as if "commenting" or maybe "talking" to the cards. This morning after I have finished with the flashing, he even protested really loudly as if asking me to do it again. So I did and it pleased him so much looking at the 40 cards one more time.

Instead of following Glenn Doman strictly by introducing only 5 words or BITS cards daily and work up to 25 cards by Day 5, I used the Shichida Method of flashing by categories. Still flashing each card fast for only a second and repeating the names of the cards twice for repetition though. I started flashing GD style English words to Marcus when he was 15 months and results were amazing too. But at Nicholas's age, it would be all input for at least 12 to 18 months, but it will all be worthwhile.

I should remind myself to alternate between English and Mandarin so that hopefully by the age of 2, he would be more effectively bilingual than Marcus.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Side effects of prevanar?

Marcus has been down with cold since Saturday and he is not getting any better. Very stressful for me as I am worried of catching it from him or having him pass to Nicholas. Anyway, maid is down with it too (I told her it's because she is not washing her hands enough with Dettol soap) so I have to handle both boys myself throughout the day. Would make sense to let her wipe Marcus's nose, change him and feed him etc.. since they are both sick with same thing, but Marcus doesn't want her around and also i feel sorry for the boy to leave him with the maid, especially when he is at a vulnerable stage. What doesn't help is Nicholas is teething, so very needy and wants to be carried ALL the time. And E is away to Seoul, so I am alone. Not fun at all going to bed at 1am, waking at 6am and not nap at all in the daytime, having to face Marcus's sneezing/coughing all the time and carrying Nicholas and yet trying to avoid him catching the bug.

Today I wonder if what he has is just the regular cold virus or side effects from prevanar jab which he took on the 18th. I panicked for a few minutes. Googled but didn't find anything useful. Shall remind myself that this episode will make his immune system stronger and millions of parents worldwide go through this daily. But really, deep down, I feel like running away, go for a spa and facial and relax at some place where I can sleep for 12 hours straight without being disturbed. I fear I will break down physically and mentally soon.

I realise I have not been away for a SINGLE night from my baby Marcus since the day he was born.

Learning to Sit





I saw Nicholas doing baby push up today in his cot and the next second, he was on all fours. And he wasn't just staying in that pose motionless, he would even swing his body to and fro' which makes it even cuter to watch! But I didn't bother to get my camcorder out as I know that by the time I whipped it out, all the stunts would be over and he would most likely be staring at the lens and showing me a 'zen yoga' pose for the next 30 minutes! Anyway, this is part of the process of learning to sit, so hopefully his gross motor skills will be as advanced as Marcus (oops, mummy promised never to compare again!) and be sitting independently by 7 months sharp. Anyway, he still has 6 weeks to go to perfect the skill. In the meantime, i shall try harder to capture it on video.




Bedtime companions





For a long time, Marcus's favourite companion to bed was "Pig" given by E's cousin Timothy and Sarah from Perth when they came visit in Sept 2005. Marcus would cuddle, bite, chew, squeeze Pig or just roll about in bed with this soft, cuddly pinky which also has a grainy stuffing in the tummy area. It was about same size as Marcus's torso then, so it was very adorable to watch. 

Then at Luke's birthday, he got the Ikea teddy bear as favour and that swiftly became Pig's competitor. Few months later, we added Pooky which was saved from E's stash of cuddly bears. 

I bought Marcus the Elmo hand puppet after he fell head over heels with it at Pilar's place while playing with Maria. 

But after about a year or so of cuddling softies, his favourite bedtime companions now are the yellow shopping bus and blue Comfort taxi which E bought at Toys R Us. They may be hard and with wheels but it doesn't stop Marcus from showering them with kisses every night and talking to them. Hahaha

Monday, March 26, 2007

Time for another picnic


These were taken in Dec 2005 at the Botanic Gardens with a few of Marcus's regular playdates, Aaron, Luke and Noelle. That was the first and last picnic Marcus had. Oh oh... now I feel like a real lousy mummy. I know I have self-imposed stressful standards about how often Marcus (and now Nicholas too) should be out having tons of fun and different/interesting experiences since they are so crucial for their learning. And since I am a SAHM (read stay-at-home-mum), I feel like I am letting the boys down if their daily routine doesn't include an exhilarating experience and I do feel that a lot, especially in the past 6 months.

Previously it was much easier getting ready and take Marcus out to wherever I plan. These days, I seriously feel so stressed out everytime I try to get the boys ready even if it was just a trip to nearby mall. On bad days, it can take up to 2.5 hrs just to get them dressed, nappy changed, fed, get me and maid ready, and packed. Esp for trips to the beach or Botanic Gdns which require us to leave before 830am, it is just so stressful since we are also weather dependent. Sometimes both will wake by 7am in cheerful moods which encourage me to do a trip out, but by 930am we are still home because Marcus would refuse to get dressed or Nicholas would refuse feeds or cry non-stop because he gets too tired after waiting too long etc. Often by the time we are ready, dark clouds loom and threaten to rain. Sigh.

However, the motherly side of me feels guilty whenever Marcus said to me 'mummy, later we go gai-gai ok?' or 'we take taxi, and train and bus, alright?' and instantly I feel lousy for not being able to satisfy his needs enough, but of course only E will know that Marcus says that about 20 times a day. Well, for a start, I gotta organise a picnic in April!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Hungry for Love

Psychologic Dynamics of Feeding: The Role of Parental Behavior

Feeding gives infants, toddlers, and older children an opportunity to practice using No by using a primary feeding relationship concept: division of responsibility. The child is thus allowed to be in charge of how much he or she eats of the food that is offered--and even whether the child eats at all. Feeding also gives a parent the opportunity to practice accepting the No.

More important, however, is the parent's reaction when the toddler uses No by not eating a particular food or not eating any of the food. In general, parents react to this situation in one of three ways:
by accepting and supporting the child's choice;
by pressuring or forcing the child to eat the food; or
by withdrawing from the child emotionally.

If a parent withdraws emotionally because of hurt feelings, the child learns that he or she will pay a price for using No: The child will lose his or her emotional connection to a very important person in her life. This consequence is a big price to pay. Parents who force their children to eat teach them that they will pay a different price: They will be treated with disrespect while experiencing the powerlessness of their No.

These parental responses teach a child that eating the food is more important to the parent than the child's feelings. The child learns that using No is not safe and that this No is likely to be ignored. This early, perceived lack of support for the child's use of No can adversely affect his or her use of and trust in this important life skill. In contrast, by allowing their children to refuse to eat certain foods or to refuse to eat when not hungry, parents give their children permission and support for acting in a way that shows love of self.

By accepting their children's refusal to eat a particular food at a particular time or their lack of a big appetite at a particular meal, parents send the message not only that using No is okay in this family but also that you can use No and still be loved in this family. This method of parenting is powerful because it builds within children a deeper sense of connection with their parents as well as internal beliefs that differ from those of children whose No is ignored or overridden. A child whose parents accept No will later be much more likely to feel comfortable saying No to something that is not good for the child.

Equally important, the division of responsibility provides an opportunity for the child to learn to accept No. When a parent allows the child to eat only at (and not between) snacktime and at meals, the parent is using No with the child. Children must learn to accept No from a parent while maintaining a healthy relationship with that parent. Of course, developing this acceptance and its associated behavior takes repeated practice; it cannot be learned overnight.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Chubby Cheeks and Marcus the Superboy!

(Picture: Marcus at 2.5 months in mid Nov 2004)
Marcus was born a week before his EDD via elective C-sect since it was confirmed that he was a breech baby. With a birthweight of 3.28kg, he gained 1.4kg by end of first month and was already weighing a whopping 4.68kg! Strangely though, while he only gained 0.3kg by end of second month, his cheeks had grown so much that I couldn't stop calling him "chubby cheeks".
(picture above: Nicholas at 2.5 months old)
While Nicholas had a birth weight of 3.69kg at birth, he only gained 0.8kg per month for first 3 months. I realise he was never meant to be a big baby anyway and his birth weight must be due to the fact that he arrived 10 days past his EDD (hence he continued to put on 28g a day in the womb) and not because he inherited FAT genes since E and I are both super slim!! Hahahaha!!









Superboy pictures were taken on 30/7/06 when Marcus was 22 months. E couldn't resist the Superman pajamas and paid $13 for it. Great value since we can make Nicholas a Superboy too.. but if Nicholas continues his chubby tum tum, he would probably be a chubby Superboy.

Smiley Nicholas

First taste of Solids!

N had his first solids yesterday. He was fed at lunchtime a tablespoon of Healthy Times organic whole grain brown rice cereal mixed with 30ml of Similac Infant formula. He was a little surprised when the spoon touched his lips and it took some getting used to before he showed interest for more. At least he liked it enough to finish all the cereal I fed him.





At least for weaning, there are advantages for being #2 since mummy would have learnt from my past mistakes/experiences (sorry my poor baby M) and would (hopefully) be wiser in my choices/decisions. So with Nicholas, I'm going to wean him very differently, i.e.
1. giving as much organic varieties as possible
2. feeding him wholegrains right from the beginning and Super Porridge when he turns 8 months at EVERY meal since it is high carbs and wholegrains which means tons of goodness and high calories!!! VERY important!
3. cooking fresh or batch-cooking/freezing instead of giving commercial jar baby food, however tempting the packaging is (also made possible now with a maid who will be washing/cleaning up after the mess)
4. not to replace milk feeds with solids until he can eat considerable amount of Super Porridge
5. no juices and only very little water, even if he doesn't poop daily since milk feeds are 80% water anyway

aww...i feel awful whenever I think of the mistakes I made before with M. But then again, I was a first-time mum then and I did my best.

Marcus the jetsetter

I hope Nicholas will have as much wonderful experiences as Marcus had during his first year of life.

Marcus flew with beautiful SQ stewardesses
- in April 2005 at tender age of 7 months old to Hong Kong with both grandmothers and us
- in July 2005 when he was 10 months old to KL when E had to be there for business trip
- in August 2005 to stay at Angsana Bintan Resort (okie, he missed the Singapore girls and took a ferry with Singapore aunties and ah-pehs instead)
- in October 2005 to Bangkok to see Auntie Heidi

I highly doubt that Nicholas will even be travelling anywhere out of Singapore by the time he turns 1 since we will have to deal with the hassle and stress of travelling with an infant and toddler. Not that he will appreciate that much either but sometimes I think we are just underestimating the abilities of our lil ones AGAIN...

I mentioned in passing to E recently that perhaps we can hop on the same plane as his parents who will be visiting in May and return to London with them. This way we can visit London with the boys and only need to survive the flight back alone with them. I can imagine how much Marcus would enjoy the parks in London, the bus and train rides (maybe he will even find the frequent breakdowns of the TUBE very enjoyable!) and perhaps even the museum visits. As for Nicholas, yes he will be way too young to appreciate many aspects but will still be stimulated in many ways. Anyway, E said to wait a few more years... so oh well..

Friday, March 23, 2007

First Tooth

N started teething at 3.5 months. Now at 5.5 months, he already has four teeth! The two upper teeth have emerged now, cut through the gums few days ago. We were surprised to see his first tooth just after Chinese New Year in Feb since he was barely 4 months old, but mum said I had my first tooth before my 4th month too. Luckily N doesn't wake in middle of night the way M did when he was teething. He just drools a lot, chews his fingers and stuffs his fists into his mouth which is extremely adorable to watch.. Hopefully he will stay this way.

M started teething at 6th month, but his teeth came out real quick in succession thereafter. By the time he was 11 month old, he had 8 teeth already! If I remember correctly, his last molar cut through before he was 20 months old.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Potty training struggle

Finally Marcus ran to me today before he peed and for the first time, he successfully peed into the potty!! YEAH!!

At 18 months, he was able to signal to me that he was going to poo, but I wasn't ready to potty train him and I kept thinking that there is really no hurry since research shows that most tots are only ready after their 2nd birthday. So I didn't even have a potty at home. When I finally got him a potty, he refused to sit on it, so no success. Then at 21 months, I bought him pants, following mum's advice, but after he slipped twice, I aborted the plan.

Today, I put on pants for him again and after the first accident, he seems to get it! I HOPE so. Then we can save some bucks and channel those $ towards his brain training.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Marcus at 30 Mths

A record of what Marcus can do at 30 months old.

Speech
He started uttering more single syllabus words at 17/18 months and at 20 months (April 2006) he said his first 2 words phrase - "My World" while reading the title of his favourite book then "My World" by Margaret Wise Brown. After that he started pronouncing all the 2 syllabus words like apple, cannot, etc etc.. By 22 months, he was already speaking phrases/sentences with 5 to 8 words and asking questions. At age 2, he could answer the "how old are you" and "what is your name" questions. At 30 months now, he can hold 2 to 3 lines conversations.

Singing
At 2, he could sing (from memory)
- alphabet song
- happy birthday
-twinkle twinkle little stars
- rainbow song (red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue... )
- row your boat
- wheels on the bus (but needs cues from adults) Also started to substitute the lyrics of many songs with his favourite words which are often types of vehicles like 'bus', 'car' or 'moon' and 'stars'

At 27 months, he could sing
- 12345 once I caught a fish alive
- Octopus in the sea (lyrics from GUG)

At 30 months, he sings
- london bridge is falling down
-baa baa black sheep
-mary had a little lamb
- I'm a little Teapot Try to sing but get lyrics mixed up sometimes
- Incy Wincy Spider
-Sing a song of sixpence
-My bonnie


Numbers
Counts ”1-10″ reliably, still practising for “11-20″. Recognises numerals “1-30". Recognises english words for "1-10". Counts “1-10″ in mandarin. But doesn't recognise mandarin words “1-10″ since I haven't taught him.

Colours
Names colours white, black, yellow, red, blue, pink, orange, green, silver reliably, but often confuse 'purple' with 'blue'. Teaching mandarin version too but he can only remember 'red' for now.

Shapes
Names shapes square, circle, triangle, oval, star, diamond, rectangle, arch reliably and can recognise word for the more basic shapes. Can pronounce hexagon, octagon, pentagon, semi-circle etc.. but sometimes confuse the shapes with others. Teaching him the rest as well.

Alphabets
Sings the entire alphabet. Recognises all the upper and lower case letters of the alphabet. Can sing the Zoophonic song and perform the movement, but when shown the letter, he doesn't tell you the phonic sound, but name the letter instead.

English Word Recognition
Can read approx 800 words.. how I know.. I have about 800 DIY flashcards and he can read about 650 words. Plus all the other words which he reads from his books that are not found in my flash cards.. I estimate there must be at least another 150 to 200 words. I started doing GD style flash cards with Marcus when he was 15 months, not diligently but enough to sustain interest. Stopped flash cards at 17 months when I realised that he can read quite a bit on his own.

Can recognise/read his own name at 17 months and know mummy's and daddy's and baby brother's names at 25 months.

Marcus can read.


(Picture above: Marcus on plane to Bangkok at 13 months old in Oct 2005)

Everyone seems to comment a lot recently about how well Marcus can read. It delights us a lot, of course, but sometimes it also gives me some pressure indirectly. Zann said recently that Marcus could be gifted when I mentioned in passing that he can read about 800 English words. That was a wake up call to me and I suddenly go through the next few days panicking and worrying if I had under developed my lil boy by not sending him to any enrichment class, no school, no playgroup and not doing any flash cards, etc etc. with him.. All he does all day long in the past 5.5 months since Nicholas arrived was play with his vehicles and watch TV. Ok, I know E always says I exaggerated that bit, that Marcus does a lot of other things too,... but still he watches too much of Finding Nemo, Hi-5 and I always feel guilty when I can't drag him away from TV.

So, this mummy scrambled and did some research quickly, and signed him up for Shichida Method! It is ridiculously expensive.. almost $1 per min. But I consoled myself that this is for his brain development and the best time to do so is between age 0 and 3. He is already 2.5 y.o.. so maybe we have waited too long.. Besides I can use whatever I've learnt in SM class on Nicholas..

I also started panicking about not doing more with/for Nicholas. I remember reading to Marcus everyday since he was 3 months old. Nicky mouse is almost 5.5months now and we are still not reading daily to him. I made an effort though to read at least a short story to him and he loves it. That is the problem of being #2... sigh! We are so much more relaxed with NM..

My lil young coconut


(picture above: 5 days old Nicholas)

Nicholas arrived on 10th October 2006.. after my 19 hours of labour, he still arrived through the "front door" as E very fondly referred to. :P

Birth Story
9th Oct 8am: noticed browny discharge and had slight menses like cramps on lower abdomen. Also slight lower backache. But still bearable.
noon to 5pm: more browny discharge but now pain is almost gone, except for a dull lower backache. So decided to go out for dinner (BIG MISTAKE)
8pm: Ordered food, then big menses-like pain and starting to have strong contractions every 20min.
9pm: reached home, shower quickly as contractions got stronger. Timed it and was shocked that interval is every 10 min.
1030pm: At TMC labour ward, was told my contractions were every 3 min BUT only 1cm dilated. I was both shocked and disappointed as pain was so getting unbearable.

10th oct
0030am: contractions getting stronger but still 3min apart. I was all alone in labour ward as hubby was kept waiting to do admissions (ridiculously stupid!!)Midwife and nurses kept asking me to consider epidural since i was in so much pain. And one of them said "with epidural, you can relax, so your cervix should dilate faster".After a while, I gave in and asked for epidural.
130am: Gynae turned up and checked that my cervix only opened 1.5cm!! I almost cried from disappointment. Contractions intensity remained same but now is 6min apart (donno why)! Gynae told me to go sleep and let uterus do the work.
7am: Gynae checked and cervix only opened 3cm. Was told nothing much can be done as i had previous c-sect, except to let uterus do its work.
3pm: Gynae checked again and cervix only opened 5cm! Baby's head had crowned a little, but seemed stuck. So he suspected very big head/baby and with stubborn cervix, no point continuing suffering.He was very empathetic and consoled me that I had tried my best and it has been 19hrs labour, so even though baby's heartbeat was healthy, but he recommended c-sect. I was so disappointed and tired, I just cried and cried. :(
4.17pm: Baby Nicholas was delivered via c-sect. He was 3.69kg and 51cm long.

Finally...

Better late than never.. I really should have done this long time ago, when E first suggested to me that I do a blog to record all the beautiful, cute, funny etc.. etc.. things that M does..

Today as we were walking around Vivo City, I saw how happy M was, jumping up and down, calling "mummy, look at this! mummy, look at that!". N was sitting in his pram, chewing his thumbs and trying to stuff his whole left hand into his tiny mouth while eyeing M attentively. 

I realise how fast my baby M has grown and already how much I've forgotten about the process. 

I miss my baby M so much. Funny I know, since he is still here with me. But I meant, I miss the times when he was still a baby, a tiny tot, and even just 6 months ago, he was so different from now. Not that I don't enjoy him as much now, I do. But I do miss terribly those times we shared together when he was smaller and that special moment some 12 months ago when M was sitting in his cot, pointed at me and said "mummy", then at himself while whispering "baby" with a smile. He regarded himself the "baby" then as I still fondly called him "baby" a lot back then. It still touches me everytime I recall that moment.

During his bath today, I asked him if he is still a baby and immediately he said "no, I am a boy".

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