These were taken in Dec 2005 at the Botanic Gardens with a few of Marcus's regular playdates, Aaron, Luke and Noelle. That was the first and last picnic Marcus had. Oh oh... now I feel like a real lousy mummy. I know I have self-imposed stressful standards about how often Marcus (and now Nicholas too) should be out having tons of fun and different/interesting experiences since they are so crucial for their learning. And since I am a SAHM (read stay-at-home-mum), I feel like I am letting the boys down if their daily routine doesn't include an exhilarating experience and I do feel that a lot, especially in the past 6 months.
Previously it was much easier getting ready and take Marcus out to wherever I plan. These days, I seriously feel so stressed out everytime I try to get the boys ready even if it was just a trip to nearby mall. On bad days, it can take up to 2.5 hrs just to get them dressed, nappy changed, fed, get me and maid ready, and packed. Esp for trips to the beach or Botanic Gdns which require us to leave before 830am, it is just so stressful since we are also weather dependent. Sometimes both will wake by 7am in cheerful moods which encourage me to do a trip out, but by 930am we are still home because Marcus would refuse to get dressed or Nicholas would refuse feeds or cry non-stop because he gets too tired after waiting too long etc. Often by the time we are ready, dark clouds loom and threaten to rain. Sigh.
However, the motherly side of me feels guilty whenever Marcus said to me 'mummy, later we go gai-gai ok?' or 'we take taxi, and train and bus, alright?' and instantly I feel lousy for not being able to satisfy his needs enough, but of course only E will know that Marcus says that about 20 times a day. Well, for a start, I gotta organise a picnic in April!