Monday, March 31, 2008

Baby

Once in a while, Marcus does exhibit behaviour or thoughts that piqued my curiosity and just dumbfounded me. I am sure there must be some literature written somewhere if I search hard enough that will explain simply the motivation and reasons for the behaviour in question.

Anyway, today, as E was reading him his bedtime story - for strange reasons they selected The Human Anatomy as the bedtime book to read - E went on to read about the unborn baby in the womb. Out of the blue, Marcus said he wanted to be back in mummy's tummy again like before and just looked so sad suddenly.. with his lower lip curled downward and his almond eyes all squeezed tight, he cuddled up close to E who called me to come over and give the boy a hug. He wouldn't explain why he wanted to be back in my tummy again, but I don't have a single clue why he would either. I just gave him a warm tight hug and told him that I love him so much when he was in my tummy and now that he is out, I love him just as much and maybe even more, followed by planting plenty of kisses on his chocolate smelling forehead (from touching his forehead with his hands after eating M&Ms).

Few weeks ago, Marcus and I talked about babies and how they stayed inside the mother's tummy for a few months before they were born. Marcus asked lots of questions and said he wanted a baby sister as he already has a baby brother. I was surprised that at his age, the gender of a sibling would matter to him enough for him to make his opinion known. That being the first of such discussion shows his level of readiness to discuss more of that topic in near future. Already, a few days afterwards, he readily raised that subject matter again in earnest and asked me if there was a baby sister in my tummy already and if he could touch her. He was sad with my reply and looked at me with sad eyes and more questions. I thought of the possibility of being very close to my 2 grown up sons in future and it certainly warms my heart to look forward to that.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

A Gentle Hand...



I like to think that E and I are rather balanced in our approach towards disciplining the kids - I believe in being firm, but not harsh, though there were still times when I did things that I am not proud of and had to apologise to them later. Overall, I believe in using words to discipline rather than actions and anything to do with hitting them is a strict no-no. When I look at Marcus, I am convinced that our disciplinary methods so far have been effective enough to produce a well-behaved boy who has a reasonable amount of self-control for his age and very impressive manners at most times.

Over the years, we have tried many different disciplinary tactics which we deemed suitable at different stages of Marcus' development. I have resisted 'time-out' and 'thinking chair' so far as I wasn't convinced of the effectiveness for young children until they can understand the significance and we can reason with them. There are 2 habits of Marcus which I simply couldn't discourage - nail biting and t-shirt biting. 

So yesterday out of exasperation, I carried Marcus and put him on the sofa bed and told him that from then on, that would be his 'thinking chair' and whenever he bites his t-shirt, a behaviour which is undesirable, and I explained why, he would have to sit there for 5 min. He fussed and protested at first, and tried to get off once. I put him straight back and insisted that he stay, without playing any toys, no eating or drinking and no reading either and absolutely no talking too, in that 5 min. Surprisingly, he stayed there for a few more minutes and asked me once 'mama, can I come down now?', and when the time was up, I went to him and gently explained why he had to sit there, reaffirmed that I love him lots and he is a really good boy, but why we don't like that behaviour of his. He seemed to understand and promised not to do it again. Surprisingly and I am so proud to say that for the whole of today, he didn't even bite his t-shirt once, when usually we have to tell him off at least every ten minutes. I asked him this morning after school if he still remembers why he was at the thinking chair and he could relate the whole incident eloquently. Wow!  I am so impressed! 

He used to throw big tantrums and have major meltdowns every evening at bath time. It is not that he hates baths, quite the contrary really. But I think he views the interruptions to his play time as annoying and frustrating and just couldn't express appropriately. Once he gets into the baths, we would have trouble getting him out of it, so it was always twice the drama everyday.

One day, I told him that in order to stay and play for a long time in the bath, he needed to show me more enthusiasm whenever I said it is bath time and I demonstrated the behaviour I wanted - a smiling boy with an enthusiastic 'Yeahhhh! It's bath time!'. From that day onwards, he did that almost every evening with a grin, to earn himself the extra time in the tub. Without fail, he did it again earlier and spent 25 min in the tub playing with his toys - pretending that the shark was eating a seal and was going to eat the people in the yacht... He narrated his story well, completing it with sound effects and insisting that his audience watch the drama unfold.

PS: It has been 3 days since I started the Thinking Chair and impressively, Marcus has totally stopped biting his t-shirt! It is amazing how easy this all goes and how odd that a "punishment" like being placed on a comfortable, familiar chair for mere 5 min can be so effective. To think that we had to suffer immensely in our childhood through the harsh and painful punishment our parents used on us when the alternatives are so much more peace loving and easy to administer is a true irony.

Patience is a virtue!



That is a quality I desperately need to cultivate, but is so evident in my little boy. He will painstakingly assemble little pieces of Lego or any other toys and if he meets any difficulties, he just keeps trying until he is convinced that he needs help. Usually it takes numerous tries on his own before he comes to us for assistance. I am most impressed when we are busy with our stuff and we sort of forget about him and some time later, we realise that we haven't heard from our little boy. We peep into the various rooms and will catch a glimpse of him concentrating..... just like the picture above - he was fixing the tiny pieces onto the board in his room for a good 20 minutes. 


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I am a Rat!

Inspired by Ratatouille, Marcus self-declared himself to be the Little Chef, a.k.a. the Rat! He corrects us if we call him a boy, and would proudly explain that he is actually a rat and yes, he is a chef too. 

And usually without hesitation, he would enthusiastically jog to "his kitchen" to whip up a few quick dishes to impress us.

His repertoire includes soup, some fried chicken and rice, fish and chips or sometimes just some baked ice. The last dish sounds dubious, I know, which is just a few toy ice cubes placed on a plate and baked in the oven. I have tried explaining that it is impossible to have something like "baked ice" as the ice will melt in the oven and there will only be a puddle of warm water left. But he always dismisses my explanation with a wave of hand and a stunned look as if his mummy is an idiot when it comes to haute cuisine and how can I even question him!! So I ended up pretending to relish in the "whatever" that he serves me and greedily ask for more, which pleases him immensely.

Nicholas has been allowed to sit besides Marcus to watch Ratatouille on most days and as a 17th month toddler, he is watching way too much TV for my liking really. Well, I rationalise that since the weather these days aren't permitting of much outdoor activities and with the common flu and stomach flu and whats not that are commonly hanging around malls, my boys are much better off watching comedy like Ratatouille and Ice Age. Besides my health was suffering a little lately, so I am conserving energy and shall make up when my engine is up and ready. 

The little tot can sit through a big chunk of the movie which sort of scares me sometimes, but I refuse to believe that he will suffer the side effects of TV watching. Maybe I am in denial, but so far he still behaves like any other healthy tot with an ever improving attention and concentration span. 

It is fascinating to watch how he goes about his "business" with a little plan and as he dissects or builds his little projects, he searches around for resources to help him, be it our hands or Marcus' or some implements or other toys.

His fine and gross motor skills are very advanced too and now my interests and curiosity is piqued. I shall dig out my reference books on developmental milestones and chart my baby's growth... hmm... 

I am quite sure he is fairly advanced in many areas and maybe my next project shall be to jumpstart his development in some areas and set some KPIs for myself to be measured in near future.. Ok now I am rambling... time to hit the gym!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Sliding Doors

I have always found the movie 'Sliding Doors' by Gwyneth Paltrow very beautiful and meaningful. 

The concept makes me wonder all the time about the possibility of our own 'sliding doors' - different realities happening in parallel. 

If it is boils down to that one decision - whether we step into the lift that fateful day or decide to take the stairs instead - and as a result, we meet different people or our life takes a different turn....

If we had walked straight home after meeting our friend for coffee instead of stopping by the pool to show off our new hairdo, how different our lives could have been and if we could have known, would we still have made the same choices?

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Chirpy Chipsy


Last month, I made a long list of words that Nicholas can say at 16 months. Now just 2 days short of turning 17th month old, he has impressed us with more. 

mama, papa, bird, car, taxi, bus, decker, digger, bath, flower, leave, dog, cat, auntie, ah-ma, shoes, walk, hi, bye bye, bubble, water, up, thank you, star, knock knock, no, give, this way, five, where, yeah, crane, night night, moon, head, pig, truck, mine, yum, Marcus.

His first words are very different from Marcus' and I suppose it is to be expected, given that Nicholas has Marcus to look up to as well and hence tends to be influenced by his older brother. Marcus used to say new words that I said very often to him and also he was exposed to GD style flash cards, so he picked up words from there. I haven't started Nicholas on flash cards, though this is a nice reminder.

What is comforting to watch now is how Nicholas would pick up books and amuse himself in his cot, flipping pages and pointing at the pictures and words, all the time "reading" out loud. His attention span is growing significantly too. He can now browse through a few books like "My World" and "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" on his own at one sitting.

Smart baby

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/23408036#23408036

Incredible achievement for a baby! So inspiring. 

Monday, March 3, 2008

Affection


Nothing is warmer than returning home to a pair of smiling children who would sit in front of the door waiting for me. They do that very often and usually Nicholas would promptly get up and dash towards me with a sweet "Hi" and grab my legs. Like how he did it today. He wrapped his little arms around my left thigh and placed his cheeks on my leg, occasionally looked up at me with a smile. Stayed like this for a few minutes before my helper could move him. What a sweet little baby! He simply melts my heart.

And Marcus never fails to run towards me if I had to leave the house for errands, to give me a cuddle and tell me "I love you very much, Mama. See you later!"

It is incredibly sweet when the boys fight to sit on my lap and usually they agree to settle for a lap each. Sometimes little Nicholas would instinctively dash towards me with arms wide opened when he sees Marcus walking towards me, as if trying to beat his bigger brother to it first. Always brings a big smile to my face to see them fighting over me. What a demonstration of love!

Man of the house

E left for Vegas today. He explained to Marcus that he will be away for a few days and has to take a plane to America for work etc etc..  The boy seemed to understand as he told his papa that he will not be following him to the airport. E further impressed on Marcus that with papa away, the little boy shall be the 'man of the house'. He nodded sensibly and must have sensed the importance of his newfound role as he assured E that he will look after his mama, chipsy and auntie. 

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