Four months left and we shall kiss 2020 goodbye.
The world came to a standstill this year. There is a war against an invisible enemy.
I feel emotional whenever I think of the number of deaths. To most people, these are just numbers now. Digits. But whenever I permit myself to indulge, I cannot help but think of how each one of them was filled with love, hope, dreams, memories and even pain. The latest statistic - a death every 15 seconds!
In the first quarter of the year, when the major papers were reporting the numbers, I started following the news as closely as possible. I analysed the numbers on every graph I could find on the Internet. Read so many serious and lengthy reports. Suddenly there were so many experts. The information junkie in me just could not read enough. The more I read, the more convinced I was that the end would not be as near as the idealists and optimists hoped for.
Why was I not so afraid during the SARS period, I kept asking myself. I did lose a kin in that period, though not to SARS but he would probably be saved if the hospital was not understaffed and stretched to the limit. I realised quickly it was because I did not have instant access to news and social media back then. Besides, now I no longer only worry for me (and I really do not worry enough for myself), but for my kids and my students. That is a lot of people to worry about.
Then came the Circuit Breaker and the whole home-based learning. It was odd to say, but I actually rather enjoyed those few weeks. I was stuck at home all day and feeling really at peace. We have a big enough space for everyone to get on with their own stuff without stepping on anyone's toes. I slept in till my back ached from sleeping too much. For the first time of my life, I actually got hooked on Korean drama, which was something that I never thought I would be interested in.
All the kids figured out their home-based learning needs quickly and independently, requiring virtually no help from us. There was no chauffeur duty or errands to run. My car was untouched for nearly 2 months that I ended up with a different set of car trouble when CB ended.
I was secretly hoping that CB could just be extended for another 3 months, so we could just confidently leave home without the dreadful mask.
There is one big plus, as I discovered one day. With my mask and sunglasses on, I can pretty much leave home sans make-up and no one would recognise me. That, I totally love.
The CB taught me a few new things about myself.
Most importantly, I realise I can now go live in some remote location and not go crazy. Just give me a WIFI connection, online delivery and I will be just fine.
I did not miss hanging out with anyone really. I do not feel the need to socialise at all. Sorry BFFs. Perhaps that is because my immediate family is right here with me. I did not miss going out.
Despite all that is going on in the world right now and of course, I wish things could be different for everyone out there who is suffering, I am in a pretty good place. Still. So I count my blessings.
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