Saturday, December 7, 2019

Back to Writing

It has been more than 2 years since I last blogged.

I did not plan to stop writing after the museum visits post. However, as work demanded more of my time and energy and I felt an increasing need to protect the privacy of my kids and family life, I decided it was time to stop blogging.

At first, it was liberating.

"Just live and enjoy the moments" I told myself. And I did. I took photos of the kids and our good time together.

But eventually, even the camera stopped making appearance.  I assured myself unconvincingly that I would have no problem remembering the important moments.

Gradually, I felt guilt. A huge pang of guilt.

For months now, I realise I cannot remember many details of the growing up years of my baby O.
Boys have suddenly grown up in the few years and now my baby boys are teenagers!

I have been right with baby O, every day of her life, so why can't I remember details of her as vividly as I did with boys?

The PSLE years passed in a daze. Before the PSLE, my playful boys still giggled a lot. What happened after the milestone exam? Now, they are just quiet, mature, intense individuals who think A LOT!

It felt like I went to sleep one day and woke up a few years later to find my kids all grown up. It is a strange feeling.

At times, I would read my old blog posts to reminisce those early parenting years. Reading them again brought back the most beautiful memories of the good, bad and ordinary days.

Some posts still made me cry. Some posts made me laugh out loud. In the end, I always had mixed feelings and regretted, albeit slightly, that I should have continued writing.

Recently, I felt a compelling need to return to writing.

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