Through her sharing, I had an intimate glimpse into her past and it brought us closer. With each additional bit of knowledge into the past, I have always yearned for more.
Over the years, I realized that what I am after is a deeper connection to the previous generations. It is not enough to know that these people were related to me by blood and that they were my ancestors. I wanted to know more about them. But there were no photos. No written stories or records within easy access. Only a few stories told by my mum, from her memory and perspectives.
Now, I love to tell my boys the same 'grandmother stories' and relate my own experiences from my younger days as well.
At this age, they are still eager and curious enough to listen to me spill the beans on my girlish secrets and perspectives from a younger me. Like how they laughed and asked questions a few days ago when I talked about my crazy puppy loves and embarrassing incidents as a teenager.
I don't know how much they will remember by the time they are grown and I am gone. But I am hoping, by knowing something intimate about my past and that of their ancestors, it will provide them with some deeper connection to the people who were part of their history.
It is for this same reason that I continue blogging, despite the immense temptation to stop. Reading (some of) my blog entries in the years to come should fill the gaps for my kids should they wish to know more about me, my thoughts and perspectives, especially in the time when they were little. If they were ever as curious as I was, that is.
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