Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Keeping Love Alive

"If you stopped working at your job, you'd probably lose it. The same thing goes for relationships."

The 10th anniversary is just round the corner.

Recently, I can't stop thinking of the time when we first met. How I felt in April 2001 when I arrived in London. The love bank was full.

3 kids and 10 years later, how are we doing?

Are we doing enough to give our marriage the priority that it deserves? Is there sufficient undivided attention to make it possible to meet our emotional needs?

After all, if the marriage suffers, everything else that we value will suffer with it. Keeping love alive takes lots of hard work and commitment.

We devote everything we have to the kids. We work so hard at work. We spend hours on hobbies. We make time for friends. How important is the Spouse in the grand scheme of things? Are our priorities right?

Along the way, we have forgotten much.


Why Not said...

Coincidentally, our 10th anniversary is also around the corner. Nobody has got anything planned, the furthest we went was to brainstorm who can babysit the kids if we were to go anywhere. The answer always comes up to - nobody. haha. I do agree with you about missing much along the way. But I guess this is how life is after kids, no? I have a feeling you are doing a great job in the marriage department... At least definitely better than mine. haha. Sorry for the rant. And happy anniversary!

Evelyn said...

I've always been struck by the fact that marriage is one of those things that doesn't necessarily get easier the longer you're in it. There's a quote by Jeanette Winterson that I like, which I use to encourage myself once in a while:

"It is not easy, this love, but only the impossible is worth the effort."

Happy 10th. :)

Domesticgoddess said...

Jayne, the ideal is to have someone we can trust babysit while we head for romantic getaway. But like you, we don't have the luxury. I don't mind it so much though as I think it is more important for a couple to appreciate and cherish each other *throughout* the year. If we get to do something sweet and romantic on the anniversary, it's a bonus. If not, we are already celebrating the marriage everyday. But I am not saying we are anywhere near this goal. IMO, we can do much more.

Life after kids is hectic and can do great damage to marriage. But this is what I believe - while it can happen to majority of marriages, it doesn't mean that our marriages can't be the minority ones that thrive (with hard work of course). Agree?

Happy 10th to you! :>

Domesticgoddess said...

Thanks Evelyn. It certainly doesn't get easier once a couple passes the honeymoon phase. But I think the most trying phase is perhaps between the 3rd and the 25th years?? :P


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