When Boys Rule

Back in 2005, at my niece's full-month celebration, I joined a bunch of silly gals who were squealing with excitement over some "predictions". 

I have heard them all before and was quick to dismiss them as old wives' tales. Tempting as it may be, I generally dislike fortune-telling activities because I believe in self-fulfilling prophecy. Expect is and you will get it - it is as simple as that!

But this time round, I decided to give it a try, perhaps because everyone looked like they were having so much fun. 

There was a little ritual involved. First, tie a red thread to a wedding ring. Second, have a married woman hold the red thread and dangle the ring just above my right palm. Third, watch for any swinging or spinning movements of the thread/ring. 

Every woman in the room, married or single, with child or childless, tried this little ritual. The person who performed this little ritual that day didn't know everyone, so she couldn't have known the facts to begin with. 

Yet, the oddest thing was, all the mothers in the room were impressed with their sets of "predictions", citing them to be incredibly accurate! Be it the number of children they have/will have or even details like the kids' gender in the correct order.

Now, that got me more interested than I would admit. 

I have always wanted 3 kids. At that time, my first born was only a few months old. I was sure my ring would spin/swing 3 times since I have never once questioned my fertility. My curiosity was piqued by the hype and excitement in the room, so though I didn't really care about the gender of the kids, I figured participating in a little superstitious silliness would be harmless anyway.  

The first time the ring moved, it indicated "a boy". (I can't remember which movement should symbolize a boy). 

I thought, hmm... that was probably easy. She (the lady performing the ritual) may have seen me with my baby boy. 

The second round, it was "a boy" again. I remember thinking "wow... two boys! How cool! I shall be the queen in the house, adored by my three boys till my #3 comes along".

Then I was all eager for the third round and hoping secretly that it would predict "a girl". Over 8 pairs of eyes watched the ring and after about a full minute, it was still nothing. Neither the ring nor the thread made the slightest movement!

I was surprised. Actually that was an understatement. Perhaps the words "shocked" and "dumbfounded" would be more appropriate. 

There must be a mistake somewhere. I have always wanted 3 kids. So where is the third one? 

I was told there would only be two boys. 

My mum, sister and best friend quickly took me to one side and consoled me with the most gentle words. They started saying things like "don't trust all this rubbish" and "it's only a for fun".... etc.... They were being kind, but it was ironic too, for they were the ones who were such believers at first. 

The following year, I had my second boy. After a tough labour and a battle with postpartum depression, I decided even before Chipsy turned one that I didn't want to ever return to a delivery ward. 

It has been a few years of living in a household where boys rule. 

Wrestling. Monkeying around. Rough play. Anything but quiet. 

But there were lots of sweet and lovely moments too. 

My boys are beautiful and wonderful and can be such a delight. 

But for a while now, there is a part in me that has been yearning for a little more balance. Some ying to balance the overpowering yang. 

Some days, I feel contented with just my two boys. A little voice would say 'they will be enough. I can shower them with all my love and give them my very best'. 

But there are also days when I would chance upon the most charming little angels in parks or malls and I found myself daydreaming thoughts like "... maybe if I had a little girl, she would look like this....or behave like this... and maybe she will be so close to me when she grew up ... I will teach her this and show her that...  " etc etc...

Perhaps the other reason for wanting a girl is to cast a safety net for myself. 

After all, if I had a girl, it is of higher likelihood that she would be on my side when the boys "gang" up with daddy, like how Marcus put it across a few days ago when he said "Nicholas and I are on daddy's side and Mummy is alone". Ok, I am taking that statement out of context now, but it struck me hard when he uttered it, albeit innocently.

Such is life, I know. We can't have everything we want. And like what sensible adults should do, I count my blessings and try not to lament what is lacking. 

But this is the season for making wishes, isn't it? Maybe I should write to Father Christmas like what my 3 boys have done and see what the old Santa can bring. :>