Parenting Thoughts: Disciplining a 3yo

This morning I witnessed him being led to a side table in class and was spoken sternly to by his teacher. I didn't see what happened prior for him to deserve the extra attention but when I saw his little face looking sad and slightly embarrassed by the teacher's "scolding" and maybe even hurt, I must admit it hurts me too. 

I suddenly felt an impulse and wanted to cuddle my baby and tell him that I love him so much. He looked so small and needed protection and I wish I could protect him from all external source of unhappiness. Of course this is my maternal instinct and I recognise that it is unrealistic and unwise to be overly protective too.

While I don't mind the teachers teaching my children the rights from the wrongs, I do mind that the approach is the right one and that I am informed at all times of anything major that my boys have done. 

Luckily I witnessed it today. I asked to speak to the teacher who informed me later that Marcus grabbed a classmate's glasses from his face and threw them on the floor. On purpose. 

When asked, he just said he didn't like the boy to wear them! Huh? I didn't want to scold him fiercely since by the time I found out, it was already after class but I spoke to him at length about his actions. Told E later who also spoke to him when he got home from work.

Something is definitely changing in Marcus recently. He is not exactly rebellious, but definitely more assertive than before and seems more determined to express his needs to be independent. 

He doesn't want to have his hands held when crossing the road and want to take off and put on his shoes on his own. He tells us he can do this and that on his own, and that he doesn't need us to help him. Even if I tell him that it is dangerous, he insists that he will be careful.

Now it feels like a new approach is needed to deal with this emerging phase. I welcome it though, as a positive development towards his growing independence and shaping of his individuality and character. 

It may be more challenging and taxing on us as parents, as we learn along the way to respond to him positively and encouragingly, without damaging or affecting his development in any way.

But it will be worth while in the long run. After all, we want to raise our boys as assertive and independent individuals who can make their decisions at a young age, yet with all the good values and morals which we deem important.