What a girl wants....

... is plenty of TLC, generous doses of empathy and an attentive listening ear. When there are no fellow colleagues at one's workplace, who does one go lunch with to grumble about their day? Most girls probably go home to grumble to our partners, families and friends.

When the days' events are especially tiring, stressful or the day hasn't been going well, sometimes all a girl wants, and needs really, is a listening ear who can empathise and tell her how rightful it is for her to feel this way. That she doesn't need to feel bad about it. That she is doing a good job and her efforts will pay off etc etc.... followed by plenty of hugs to shoo away all the negative energy.

The last thing a girl needs when she confides her feelings is to be told that she doesn't have the monopoly of feeling stressed/upset/frustrated etc... that everyone else in the universe is feeling the same way. Doesn't that imply "she should stop whining"? If a confidante is as insensitive, uncaring and unempathetic, who in the right mind would continue to confide in him/her?

When a girl says, "you are not very nice to me", it doesn't make her a wee bit happier to be told "you are not nice to me too" (implying she deserves it or is this an eye for an eye?). Or when she says "I am tired", she doesn't really want to hear an echoing "I am tired too!". Period. How does that make her feel better? What she wants to hear is "oh you poor sweetie, let me give you a cuddle and how can I make you feel better". The irony is we teach kids to take turns with others, as consideration for others' feelings, but as adults, we don't "take turns" to make each other feel better.

Perhaps such lacking of emotional support is forgiveable if it happens once in a blue moon. A frequency closer to the appearance of the sunset just forces one to re-evaluate the value of the relationship, especially one that is highly valued for its quality and promise of emotional support. The big question is how much time do we want to spend on relationships that do not deliver what we expect it to? When will one realise that the imaginary container that holds all the fundamentals and deposits for the relationship is leaking and what was in abundance before seems to be now slipping through our fingers like sand? Without top-up and maintainence, it is a matter of time to come home to an empty container.