Grey

This is one of those weeks when the sky looks permanently grey and everywhere I look, there are no reasons to be really elated, except for the sake of my boys. And it is one of those periods when even for their sakes, I require constant reminders to myself to avoid getting in a melt down every hour. 

I get emotional way too easily over minor things and whatever that affect me, will get me spiralling down for hours or even days. I can't seem to get out of the mood, and it upsets me. I need cuddles, but the quota just doesn't get met. I have to sweet talk Marcus to give me a hug now and then for the incredibly feel-good effect to lift my mood. 

I probably need external help to get to the root of the problem and I know they are there. In fact, I know what they are, but in my rational mind, I know there are no good solutions right now, so I just feel like I have to suffer. I am grumpy and feeling increasingly exasperated but I know no better way out. 

There are only two people who are willing to listen to me grumbling non-stop about my troubles, patient enough to listen to me for two hours straight despite their busy lives. At least I feel that they geniunely care enough about me to lend a listening ear. They don't interrupt or jump into conclusions and try to get me out of depression by giving advices when asked, or just keep quiet when they know I just want to talk, the way a woman needs to talk to clear her mind and to feel better. I don't have to hide my feelings or censor my thoughts since they won't judge me. They are not calculative, so I won't hear them tell me that they sound grumpy because I sound grumpy first. But they are '000 miles away and time difference is an obstacle, though they don't mind paying hefty call charges for me to talk my heart out. Still, my need to talk at times like this is enormous and I can't call them all the time. I probably need a different outlet.