Encouraging Independent Play

From my personal experience, I can never stress enough the importance of this golden rule. 

By independent play, I mean letting the kid play on his own, without adults interfering or playing with him. 

I firmly believe it has a lot to do with how my boys have turned out now.

When M was just months old, I would let him stay in his playpen or sit alone in a play area for a brief duration each day. I started with a few minutes at a time and slowly increasing to as long as half an hour. I gave him some age-appropriate toys and things to explore and play on his own while I sat a distance away watching him. 

When he started walking, I continued to encourage independent play but ensuring that the house is child-proof and I was always watching. So at any one time, he was within my sight so I know that he was safe. My boys used to explore freely in almost every part of the house, just excluding the bathrooms and kitchen which were accessible only with adults' company. 

I did the same with Chipsy. Don't get me wrong though. I do actively play with my boys, but I don't do it all the time, even when they were younger. 

Without constant adult's interference and company at play time requires the child to learn to entertain himself. It teaches them not to rely on others to amuse them. This does not mean abandoning them for extended periods and ignoring their needs. 

When my boys used to wail after they had enough of their own company, I would go to them but instead of picking them up straightaway, I would talk to them first. And in cases when I couldn't go to them instantly, like when I was busy in the kitchen, I would call out and ensure they hear my voice.

So over time, a child will learn that crying to get mummy's attention works, but it doesn't mean mummy will pick them up immediately. They will get the assurance that they aren't alone, which is important, but it also teaches them that sometimes they need to wait.

Of course, you need to be discerning and know when to pick them up straightaway in times of real distress. 

By the time my boys were toddlers, they could easily play on their own for over an hour each time. Not only does this independent playing since young encourages creativity and resourcefulness, it also teaches them to be patient and that the world doesn't revolve around them. It just gets better as they grow. When both boys are at home, they can play together without my interference for as long as 5 hours, which is pretty much the whole afternoon! That is when I get my work done.