I had an interesting chat last week with a few parents from the 4yo's school. We all agreed that parents in Singapore are under too much peer pressure to send their little ones to daily playgroup/nursery way too early. Those who do often cited it important for picking up socialisation skills.
Another factor which is often underplayed - toddlers whose immune systems aren't strong enough are often exposed to unnecessary frequent episodes of sickness. I've seen too many young kids who miss two weeks of school every month for this reason, especially those under 3 yo.
As a like-minded Aussie mum pointed out - perhaps the truth is, many mothers can't stand handling a 2yo at home all day long. Hence, sending them to daily playgroup/nursery as early as possible is a great option.
Is it necessary for a 2yo to attend school to learn socialisation skills?
There are many ways to introduce socialisation to a young child. My 28 mth old is not attending preschool yet, simply because I don't believe it is as beneficial as some may think.
For a working mum or a stay-home mum with several small children to cope with, then yes, it would be different. Going to 3hr daily school may be better for the child.
Whatever the preschools claim to teach for this age isn't rocket science. It's the alphabet. The numbers. The music and movement. The crafts. Usually the teachers aren't qualified to instruct on art anyway. So the curriculum (if there is any to begin with) isn't tough to replicate through home schooling.
In fact, mothers are perhaps the best teacher a child can have. Because through us, they get the whole package of love, patience, passion to see them learn and hence dedication. I know many mothers who would agree with me on this.
There are many ways to introduce socialisation to a young child. My 28 mth old is not attending preschool yet, simply because I don't believe it is as beneficial as some may think.
For a working mum or a stay-home mum with several small children to cope with, then yes, it would be different. Going to 3hr daily school may be better for the child.
Whatever the preschools claim to teach for this age isn't rocket science. It's the alphabet. The numbers. The music and movement. The crafts. Usually the teachers aren't qualified to instruct on art anyway. So the curriculum (if there is any to begin with) isn't tough to replicate through home schooling.
In fact, mothers are perhaps the best teacher a child can have. Because through us, they get the whole package of love, patience, passion to see them learn and hence dedication. I know many mothers who would agree with me on this.
What about going to school to make friends and learn socialisation skills?
I say, it is all overhyped. Socialisation skills can be picked up through play dates, with neighbours, at play grounds, pools etc.
I say, it is all overhyped. Socialisation skills can be picked up through play dates, with neighbours, at play grounds, pools etc.
Another factor which is often underplayed - toddlers whose immune systems aren't strong enough are often exposed to unnecessary frequent episodes of sickness. I've seen too many young kids who miss two weeks of school every month for this reason, especially those under 3 yo.
As a like-minded Aussie mum pointed out - perhaps the truth is, many mothers can't stand handling a 2yo at home all day long. Hence, sending them to daily playgroup/nursery as early as possible is a great option.
4 comments:
Now you know that I sincerely admire you for being able to handle 2 kids at once, homeschool them, clean the house, cook and still look absolutely stunning.
I also want to defend SAHM who do send their 2yr olds to playschool, because, well, I do = ) B. goes 4 times a week and for much longer than 3hrs. I send her there with the knowledge that all she'll do there is play, paint, eat and play some more.
Sure, there are times that I do feel guilty for leaving her there.
The socialising concept, that's only a minute part of the reason. The main reason is exactly what your Aussie friend mentioned. I am not a patient person, and as the day goes by, I'm not exactly a very fun or accepting mother to my child as she gets difficult. So I choose to put her in a playschool so that the mornings and nights and weekends that I have with her, I can devote that time entirely to her and she has my full attention. In a sense, I feel that it's better to be a more effective and loving mother at those precious limited times rather than to be snappy, grumpy one at any time of the day. Does that make sense?
I do not have a maid, don't believe in them, and I'm miles from any grandparents.
I agree that mothers are the best teacher a child can get, but I feel that she gets that from me in the mornings and the weekends.
I know I'm rambling oops, I just wanted to say my piece, but I still love your blog! You inspire me to fill the time that I have with her doing purposeful things.
Ivana, what you said totally makes sense and I agree that for a kid's development and well-being, a couple of hours of quality time with a loving and patient parent is miles better than a full day with an unloving one.
What is admirable of you is you are open about your reason for sending B to daily school, unlike many mums who would insist they are doing it SOLELY for the socialisation reason.
I have met some who actually think everyone else who isn't sending their 2yo to daily school must be seriously depriving their little tots of the much-needed socialisation skills which will make them the most popular and perhaps successful individuals in the future! That view makes me laugh.
Every parent is different and every family has its own challenges. I have mine too, but I choose to manage it without a maid, and without sending my 2yo to daily school, just yet. Simply because I am still happy managing it all. But if there comes a day when I find myself struggling, for whatever reasons, and sending my kids to full day school is a good option, I will consider too.
But I will be open and honest to admit, like you, that a break from the kids is necessary, so that when we spend time together, I can be a more loving parent.
I won't pretend that I am sending them to school to learn the most important skill that will make or break their future.
= ) Thank you for your reply... and may I add a phew(!) for well... acknowledging that everyone's different and that it's okay.
Again, you're one plucky lady!
Great post! I totally agree with you!
When I first moved to Singapore, one thing that struck me was how early the kids here go to 'school'. Though many places call it playgroup or something to that effect. I am like you, I prefer to keep my 2yo by my side, and I don't subscribe to the "marketing" of these private schools that whatever they can teach a 2yo is anything more special than what I, as her mother can teach/show her.
And I like your honest view that the truth is, many mothers just want to have time out for themselves but are perhaps too embarrassed or shy to admit it. I can't agree more. Frankly, I don't see why they need to hide it. Perhaps they view it as a weakness on their part. So they come up with all the other reasons.
Joyce
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