LOST!!!

A couple of weeks ago, M was lost for the FIRST time.

He lost me for a brief minute when we were rushing to his piano lesson. Due to the crowds and narrow alleys in the mall, I couldn't hold his hand without walking awkwardly so I instructed him to walk close behind me. I made a turn round the corner near his piano school, thinking he was still tailing me when I looked back and was horrified that he was nowhere in sight.

I panicked for a second before spotting him quickly. He was running to and fro another corridor, looking frantically for me. I heard him shout a not-very-loud 'mama! mama!'. I went to him and saw a mixture of relief and sadness on his face. His little lips curled like a crescent as he ran to me for cuddles and sobbed for a second. "I couldn't see you Mama, I thought I lost you and I was sad."

Yesterday it happened again but this time at our condo. My heart sank, albeit for only a brief few minutes. Despite my reminders and orders and instructions (depending on how harsh I sound), the boys just won't stand next to me while I lock my main door. I usually keep Chipsy in the stroller so I only need to watch out for M, which that alone can cause my blood pressure to rise to a new high sometimes.

Anyway, by the time I locked the door which took virtually seconds and turned the corner to face the lifts, M was nowhere to be seen. For a moment, I thought maybe he was playing hide and seek with me, so I shouted a few times for him before realising quickly that he must have gone into the lift and the door closed before he could stop it. I only prayed that he was alone in the lift and that he would remember what I always taught him to do should this happen. Thank God he remembered!

I waited and a lift descended to our floor while concurrently another arrived from lower floors. My plan was to hold both lifts, hoping he will emerge from one before deciding what to do next. Luckily he did. The moment he saw me when he walked out of the lift, he cried softly 'Mama! Mama!' and I gave him a gentle but tight hug and told him it's alright. I couldn't resist the "see, I told you....' bit though and took the chance to reiterate the importance of waiting for me before entering the lift. In a way, I am glad it happened in our condo (of course I can say this only because he isn't hurt or lost) as it means he will now truly appreciate the lesson and unlikely to repeat the behaviour.

Some days, both kids are out without stroller and it can be a nightmare screaming after them, warning them not to enter the lift before me. So I resort to painting many 'what-if's scenarios to M, hoping that he will remember some of these if he encounters them.

It doesn't make me less vigilant, but I sure hope that some education and instructions will stick in his mind somehow and help him navigate his way back into my arms. I am fully aware I can't be less attentive and I am usually on high alert whenever I am out with the kids, and it can get stressful. Once or twice, some strangers even suggested I get a kid-leash (can't remember the name for it but to me, it IS a leash!) which I brushed off as totally absurd. I don't want to tie them at home, nor bound them to a stroller forever, so before they turn dependable (which will only happen with age), I can only hope that he understands the dangers and remembers the instructions I give should he find himself lost in a sea of people.

When I told him that he should look for another mummy with children should he be lost and ask that woman to help him find me, it made him teared and he grabbed me so tightly and sobbed 'but I don't want another mummy. I only want you.'.... That made me smile.