A couple of weeks ago, M was lost for the FIRST time.
He lost me for a brief minute when we were rushing to his piano lesson. Due to the crowds and narrow alleys in the mall, I couldn't hold his hand without walking awkwardly so I instructed him to walk close behind me. I made a turn round the corner near his piano school, thinking he was still tailing me when I looked back and was horrified that he was nowhere in sight.
I panicked for a second before spotting him quickly. He was running to and fro another corridor, looking frantically for me. I heard him shout a not-very-loud 'mama! mama!'. I went to him and saw a mixture of relief and sadness on his face. His little lips curled like a crescent as he ran to me for cuddles and sobbed for a second. "I couldn't see you Mama, I thought I lost you and I was sad."
Yesterday it happened again but this time at our condo. My heart sank, albeit for only a brief few minutes. Despite my reminders and orders and instructions (depending on how harsh I sound), the boys just won't stand next to me while I lock my main door. I usually keep Chipsy in the stroller so I only need to watch out for M, which that alone can cause my blood pressure to rise to a new high sometimes.
Anyway, by the time I locked the door which took virtually seconds and turned the corner to face the lifts, M was nowhere to be seen. For a moment, I thought maybe he was playing hide and seek with me, so I shouted a few times for him before realising quickly that he must have gone into the lift and the door closed before he could stop it. I only prayed that he was alone in the lift and that he would remember what I always taught him to do should this happen. Thank God he remembered!
I waited and a lift descended to our floor while concurrently another arrived from lower floors. My plan was to hold both lifts, hoping he will emerge from one before deciding what to do next. Luckily he did. The moment he saw me when he walked out of the lift, he cried softly 'Mama! Mama!' and I gave him a gentle but tight hug and told him it's alright. I couldn't resist the "see, I told you....' bit though and took the chance to reiterate the importance of waiting for me before entering the lift. In a way, I am glad it happened in our condo (of course I can say this only because he isn't hurt or lost) as it means he will now truly appreciate the lesson and unlikely to repeat the behaviour.
Some days, both kids are out without stroller and it can be a nightmare screaming after them, warning them not to enter the lift before me. So I resort to painting many 'what-if's scenarios to M, hoping that he will remember some of these if he encounters them.
It doesn't make me less vigilant, but I sure hope that some education and instructions will stick in his mind somehow and help him navigate his way back into my arms. I am fully aware I can't be less attentive and I am usually on high alert whenever I am out with the kids, and it can get stressful. Once or twice, some strangers even suggested I get a kid-leash (can't remember the name for it but to me, it IS a leash!) which I brushed off as totally absurd. I don't want to tie them at home, nor bound them to a stroller forever, so before they turn dependable (which will only happen with age), I can only hope that he understands the dangers and remembers the instructions I give should he find himself lost in a sea of people.
When I told him that he should look for another mummy with children should he be lost and ask that woman to help him find me, it made him teared and he grabbed me so tightly and sobbed 'but I don't want another mummy. I only want you.'.... That made me smile.
6 comments:
Understand how you feel, my heart almost stops each time my kids do such stunt. Trying to find the lost sheep in a crowd can kill me (yes high blood pressure!). Good that Marcus knows what to do. Emma remembers my number but yet to test it out in emergency. It's the toddler that worries me especially now she just refuses to sit in stroller when we are out. No matter how many time I remind them to stay next to me, they simply forget. But I too will not resort to a leash rather they MUST learn and remember what to do in case (still I wish it will not happen again).
Yikes I know that sinking feeling! We were in a bookstore in London last month when B. decided to play hide and seek with me. With the tall bookshelfs and all, it took all my might to stop myself from screaming her name. Luckily I found her at the end of the store crouched behind some books giggling! I gave her a little scolding and hugged her tight... but at 2 years old, how do you teach them the dangers of running away!
We'll be in Spain next week and honestly I am thinking of those cute backpack leash things. I know, it reminds me of a dog too, but I can't imagine what would happen if she got lost or stolen in a foreign country... What happened to the McCanns still freak me out.
yeah handydog, it can be really worrying if the tot goes missing. We just need to be on high alert all the time now that they don't sit on stroller and abandon everything the moment she runs away from you so you can give chase.
I wish Marcus learns enough and not do it again. TWice is way too many for me to handle already.
Ivana, OMG! I would have screamed her name if I were in your position. I just shouted for Marcus many times just the other day when we were in Popular. I didn't care what others would think as long as I find him quick. He got a stern, really stern warning and a pretty bad scolding the next time he did it at Cold Storage. But then again, yes, Marcus is 4 so I expect him to understand more than your B or my 2yo. For the younger tots, it is hard and we just have to extra-vigilant. Well, if you think the chance of running off ahead of you is high in Spain then I would think it wise to pack the leash thingy with you anyway and decide when you are there if you need to use it. Maybe just have to ensure one adult is constantly following and watching her no matter what. It is scary to imagine a child lost in foreign land.
totally empathise. Can't breathe till the kid is in your arms again.
My kid is a happy wanderer. She still does despite getting lost a few times. At least she is older now to scream for us when she can't find us. I tried teaching her to remember our hp no in case of emergency but numbers and her simply don't agree.
The kids are so small, sometimes I lose sight of them and my heart stops (they are really just there, except obscured from my sight momentarily).
I bought a leash (with angel wings). Back when Girl was few months old, to keep for when I needed it. Never really needed it, but I won't hesitate using it if "needed".
Girl currently very good about waiting for me before entering a lift. I'm more worried about the Boy giving me heart attacks, cos his temperament differs.
kole, kids this age can be quite unreliable when it comes to emergencies. I am not sure Marcus will remember our hp no. if he is really panicky. He is not really a happy wanderer as he has been rather conditioned by me since young about the dangers of wandering off. I think we parents just have no choice but to be very careful at all times to prevent recurrence, if possible.
Mel, yeah.. boys can be very different in this aspect. I sometimes panic when I can't see the kids when we are grocery shopping because they hide behind the shelves or just run around the aisles. Which is why i am adamant of putting N in the stroller despite protests. He is so small, and really dashes about if out of stroller. Just dealing with M alone is enough to drive me up the wall sometimes.
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