Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Silence

I have not thought about this blog for many months. Until tonight when I was trying to recall all the crafts that I used to do with Chip when he was 3 to 4 years old.

Life has been too busy and my priorities have also shifted in the recent years, so blogging has become a luxury that I can no longer afford. Still, I was taken aback that there was only one post in 2015. Oops.... 

A quick recap.... 

We finally moved to a new address in April. After spending too much time and $ on renovation, we have settled down at our really amazing home. There is so much to love about this new home, and every so often, I will count our blessings for what we have. However, it is further away from the boys' school, which means I spend more time in traffic just sending and fetching them. 

Straight after the mid-year exams, we left for a month-long trip to London where kids got to spend loads of time with grannies and revisit London attractions through their more "grown-up" eyes. E and I took the opportunity to head to Prague for a fabulous getaway sans kids, so finally I can strike this off my bucket list. The other highlight of my London trip was our trip with kids to Cornwall. It was breathtaking and will be a trip that I will remember for decades to come. 

The boys are now in Primary 5 and 3. The eldest has a super hectic schedule and he doesn't even have tuition!!! He leaves home at 7am and only reaches home after 4pm, four times a week. School workload is crazily heavy with five subjects. At Pri 3, Chip has a relatively easy life, just like M two years ago. In comparison, M will forever be the one who looks like he has to work "harder", simply because being older, he has more to complete on a daily basis. Something which he is not pleased about and just one of the many issues I have to deal with regularly.

While every phase of a child's growth presents different set of challenges for parents, I find this current phase of tweens to be one of the hardest I have faced so far. Combine that with an equally curious and highly intelligent sibling who is just two years younger, some days can get so bad that I either feel like a failed parent or a monster. Those glorious days when I could simply smiled at my own parenting wits were long gone and forgotten. On nearly a daily basis, I encounter numerous teachable moments and opportunities to impart life lessons. They sap too much energy and give me headaches sometimes. But I also know, I got to embrace this phase, bite my teeth and march on.

The dolly is nearly 4 and has grown so much since my last post. She still enjoys school tremendously and is a mega charmer in class. She spends her daily mornings with me, but I am extremely guilty to admit that I am usually so busy with all kinds of stuff that she does not get as much of my attention as she truly deserves. If there is one area that I must make immediate changes to, it has to be this. While she can be the sweetest being in the family, who melts my heart with all the right things that she will say to me, she can be the fiesty chili padi when she decides to throw her monstrous tantrums. Evidently, her terrible-two phase has lasted the longest amongst the three kids and hers is also the wildest and hardest to tame. 

When I looked at my baby girl earlier, who had fallen asleep on my bed while waiting patiently for me to finish whatever I was doing, I was guilt-stricken and overwhelmed with emotions as I stroked her sweaty head of hair. She is so big now...... Then I remember all the things that she has been wanting me to do with her and she is still waiting....

It is the CA2 week (aka. school tests, for those abroad who are not familiar) now, so I have been focusing my time on the much-needed revision with the boys. Can't wait for it to be over, so I can kick-start a new routine, with more focus on the homeschooling agenda for O. 

Overall, my days this year are mundane but purposeful. But I can do better. 

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