Six years ago, we were so close. He was so needy and dependent on me.
Now, I feel a widening gap between us.
I may be able to make him laugh heartily, but I am also less hesitant to take actions that may make him cry. I may have 'hardened' considerably over the years as I learn to deal with the many parenting challenges, but my heart aches often.
I know I am being firm for his own good and that I know better than he does, yet I still feel awful and guilty more often than I like.
When I look a little harder, I can still catch a glimpse of that little needy boy and his innocence. But when the days are long, I often forget to look.
He still holds my hand willingly when we are out and about and gives me cuddles whenever I ask for them. No, cuddles and hugs are no longer volunteered. Gone are the days when both my cheeks were happily kissed and I can't remember the last time he called me 'mama'. These days, it is usually 'mummy'.
In a few months, my first-born will be 9-year-old. Where did all the time go?