Monday, April 2, 2012

Birth Order and Time

I have been reading to Olivia since she turned 3 months, but it wasn't as frequent as I like. There will be times when I read 3 books a day for a few consecutive days, followed by periods of only 3 books in the entire week. 

Whenever I think about it, I can't help but feel guilty. 

Marcus used to be read to throughout the day, everyday and had a consistent bedtime routine. Of course, I had all the time in the world to focus on my only child then. 

There was also no blog to write and I wasn't reading any either. I certainly didn't feel the urge to stay connected with the world, especially not through the cyberspace. Some weeks, I didn't even turn on the laptop or check my emails for days. 

So the focus of the day was on 'entertaining' my only child.

When #2 came along, time had to be split between the boys but I soon learnt to manage that. Still, I wasted little time online, though there was a period when I was a little addicted to online communities and forums. 

Fast forward to now, things are so different. 
While I don't want to beat myself over it, knowing fully well that I always do my best in the limited time I have and things just can't be the same when I now have 3 kids to look after. 

But it doesn't mean I am going to accept it as it is. 

I learnt from a recent chat with friends that some stay-home mums spend more than 10 hours a day online, maintaining their blogs, Facebook and Twitter accounts. Which makes me curious of the time they have left to spend with their kids.

Though I don't waste time on online forums and hardly log in to Facebook (which I shun on purpose), I do spend time blogging and reading selected blogs. I'm always attracted to blogs that inspire me to do better in the many roles that I play and personal success stories that motivate me to do more with my life get my attention too. There is always so much to learn from others. 

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't feel the need to jump on the bandwagon and be active on Facebook and twit one-liners just to stay connected with friends and acquaintances. Just like how I never get the appeal of an e-book. Nothing can quite replace the satisfaction I get from flipping the page of a real book after reading it. 

While I don't spend hours online daily, I do turn on my laptop at least once on most days and it is a source of temptation that distracts me from more fulfilling activities.

Since I have been able to resist the temptations of iPhone and iPad (nope, they have never appealed to me even though the husband has offered a few new sets), I'm sure I can also do better at limiting my time online. 

Perhaps it's time to unplug and be unconnected with the world for a few days each week.

I am a firm believer that I can only speak of spending quality time with my kids when I have sufficient quantity to spend with them. 


Dominique@Dominique's Desk said...

Hope that you can find your balance and have the time you need with each child. For me it is still a work in progress to find time to spend with each kid daily + reading to them. For me the PC is on most of the time and I only spend 5-10 min "rest" time on it 3-4 time a day in between teaching the kids/ chores etc.

Domesticgoddess said...

Thanks Rach! It is always a challenge but I am confident we can both do it! With the live-in maid cleaning the house without requiring much supervision from me, I can finally free up time to do more.

suz said...

I spend most of my 'computer' time at night when I'm nursing Baby down and sitting with the older boys as they fall asleep. The IPad is so convenient for that! I read the bible, catch up on emails etc. etc. I used to get really frustrated when the kids took a long time to fall asleep. But now, coz I can read at the same time, I don't feel so anxious. :-)

Domesticgoddess said...

Suz, my hubby also reads and watches youtube with his iPad when he is holding baby. I just can't do it when nursing baby. I spend the time stroking her neck and kissing her hair. Besides, I think the glare will distract her from sleeping. :>


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