The Best Friend

His name is Edward Mili. He is Eurasian. I don't know where his parents were born. His mum is also a stay-home-mum and he has a little sibling. I think it's a girl. But I don't know her age. 

Edward sits at another table in my class. But he likes to sit with me at recess. He always comes and sits with me and we will talk about airplanes and robots. Mostly airplanes. 

He likes to eat meat. So every recess, his mum will pack him a sandwich full of meat. Sometimes, Edward said he was eating kangaroo or crocodile meat. No, I have never seen him eat vegetables or fruits before. 

Edward pronounces the word 'vegetables' as 'vee-get-tay-ber'. He is so funny!

Why do I like him so much? Because he is so funny and very clever. 

Why is he not on the Maths portal? Because he said he is not good at Maths. 

~~~~

That's what M told me since the first week of school in January. 

We always chat about his school day, friends and all over weekday lunches. In the first few weeks when it was all about settling into the new routine, school and environment, my top concern was if he was able to adjust well to the changes. 

Every other day, I would ask him if he had made a new friend and coaxed him to share a little more. He would tell me about so and so who sat next to him at recess and what they talked about etc.... 

By the end of week 2, I was over the moon to know he has found a best friend whom he really likes and gets along real well with him. After that day, I would hear more about Edward Mili almost on a daily basis. Sometimes, I would ask M questions about Edward, in a bid to know more about the boy and his background and also to give M topics to talk about with his best friend. Whatever he didn't know about Edward, he would ask him the next day at recess and come home to report to me after school. 

Ten weeks later, I felt we knew quite a bit about Edward. From M's description, I even had a mental picture of how he looked like. I imagined him to be a bright and cheeky boy about the same size as M.

I even planned to invite Edward and his mom over for playdate or have an outing after school or something. 

One day, E asked him if there is another Edward in the class because we noticed he always mentioned his full name. There isn't, according to M. But he just liked to call the boy by his full name. So we left it as that. 

The day before the end of Term 1, I was having a chat with M over lunch like usual when he said something about Edward. It wasn't what he said, but more of the way it came out that caused alarm bells to go off in my head. I hesitated, but decided to probe. At first, I caught a glimpse of a sheepish expression, then a worried look on his face. Mother instincts took over. I persisted with my 'interrogation'. 

Then I was 'bombed'.

In between mouthfuls of half-chewed lunch, he confessed. 

It was all just part of his imagination. Edward Mili was not real.

He had made it all up in the beginning because he couldn't find someone he really liked in school. Yet he really wanted to have a best friend. So he imagined that Edward was there with him, for him, everyday. 

In the early weeks, he also felt compelled to unveil more about his newfound friend to give me an answer to my questions.

I was so, so stumped. Listening to his confession and watching his teary eyes, I felt a huge pang of guilt. Overwhelming emotions washed over me as I tried to let the new facts sink in. Millions of questions shot through my mind. Before I could help it, tears streamed down my face too. That must have scared him somewhat as he started panicking and apologizing for lying to me. 

After composing myself, I tried to explain gently how I felt about the whole matter, that I was shocked and also disappointed. Not with him for not being able to find a best friend in such a short time and I wasn't expecting him to, but just with the facts. 

He brought huge comfort to me when he shared details of a best friend and showed signs of happiness about going to school. So the revelation of the truth was both a shock and disappointment to me that things didn't go as well for him as I thought it had. 

I hugged him tight for a long while and after that, we had another long chat. Then he felt and looked better. 

I appeared calm too, but deep inside, I couldn't help feeling really worried about this whole 'imaginery friend' matter and wonder about the underlying issues. According to this and several other sources, there isn't cause for alarm and is a normal way for some children to cope with realities.

When I related it all to E that afternoon, he was just as surprised that Edward could be fictional.

According to M, the name appeared in the Wimpy Kid series, and he just chose it for no particular reason. I didn't read these books, so I couldn't be sure. But E couldn't find the name anywhere in all the books afterwards. 

We decided not to pursue the matter, to avoid placing further stress and unnecessary pressure on him. A few days later, E got M to list the names of all the boys in class. As I watched him write the list, a tiny part of me was waiting for Edward's name to appear and for him to laugh at our faces and tell us that it was all one big prank that he had played on us. But it didn't happen. 

We also started addressing the different friendship, expectations and perception issues that had surfaced as a result and suggested ways to help him cope with them. I suppose therein lies the silver lining.

Life moves on. Now, a few weeks later, things on the friendship front seem cheerier again. We hear a lot more of a few other boys whom he hangs out with and I see him having fun with different kids at and after school too. 

As I reflected on this whole matter and how it was handled by everyone involved, I have learnt plenty myself. When life throws us a curveball, we should just hit it out of the park. 

I hope it has taught M a few life lessons too.