'NO!!' to Crafts

When your child repeatedly rejects your enthusiastic suggestions to make a craft ladybug or paint the blue ocean, what do you do?

Some parents may think 'hey, they don't like crafts, no big deal!' and just chuck the stuff away and never to bring them out again. 

But there is another group who may think 'oh no, we must keep trying until they learn to enjoy it.' This group probably also worries that their kid may lose out the opportunity to nurture his artistic side. He may not be the next Van Gogh, but still, what if he has got a headstart in art and crafts?...  

I recommend a more balanced approach depending on your expectations and what you want to get out of him doing the crafts. Like I always tell parents in our classes, as you would have heard me say, that it always depends on parents' expectations.

So ask yourself - do you want him to do the crafts because you want to encourage him to explore and cultivate the creativity in him? Or do you want to teach him to listen to instructions or is it about working on his patience and attention span? 

Regardless of your reasons, it is ineffective to force a child who is unwilling to work on crafts. 

Some kids may throw in those extra few minutes for you, but ended up crying. It is probably better in this case, to change the objectives of the craft, encourage them with a different approach, or just shelf it and revisit later.

There are also some kids who take longer to warm up to crafts. For these kids, they may need more exposure, encouragement before they warm up. Give up too early is not the end of the world but it just means the child may miss out on opportunities to explore in this area. But persist too much and turn the child off the crafts completely is not a good idea either.

It is like social skills. Some kids are very shy and reserved. Should we expose them to playgrounds and social gatherings and gently coax them to join the group or hide them at home till they develop their social skills naturally?

Here is something which I may not have shared before since it happened before I started blogging. My older boy would run away when I first introduced him to playdoh, painting and crafts. Up till he was about 18 months old, he would get upset when there was paint or glue on his fingers. He would fuss about cleaning his hands and refuse to continue. 

I did not give up, though I did not force him either. I just continue to offer the opportunities to him and braced myself for rejections! Then one day, when he was 21 months old, it all changed! He happily made a crab craft with me which involved lots of glue and paint and got his hands, face and shirt all messy with paint. 

That taught me a lot and I was so pleased that I had persevered. 

So parents should not give up simply when the child said 'no'. Think of the possible causes for him to reject the craft and reintroduce it a few days or weeks later. Try something else that is totally different and observe his receptiveness. 

I know it is cliche but I always think that there is no other way sometimes than just plain patience and perseverance. And it doesn't just apply to crafts, but to all areas of parenting and learning.