Sunday, May 20, 2012

Shy? He is Not.

Those who know my boys often tell me how different they are. They do have fairly different temperaments and personalities, though both can be considered precocious and academically advanced for their age.

In the recent years, I have noticed how M is becoming more of an introvert. He is very empathic and highly sensitive, while Chip is more sociable and not more sensitive than a typical 5 years old.

Though M gets along well with many kids, I am convinced he finds it a little challenging to find friends who have similar interests or at same wavelength as him. I am sure this has something to do with his personality and perhaps social skills as well.

To begin with, because M reads widely and beyond his age and has preference for toys and hobbies that are meant for older kids, most kids his age can’t really appreciate what he says or shares his interests.

When he was in Kindy 2, his best friend was another kid who had similar interests in submarines and were able to discuss technical details in depth, which most typical K2 kids aren’t keen on.

Just because he was not chatty like other boys and didn't appear enthusiastic enough to join in the 'exciting' discussions about Ben 10 and other TV programmes, his kindy teacher raised a red flag and suggested he didn't know how to fit in, was shy and perhaps lacking social skills.

At first, I wondered if the teacher could be right. But the slightly rebellious and individualistic side me threatened to challenge her: what is so good about fitting in and what's wrong with not wanting to discuss Ben 10 and those duh TV programmes anyway? But, I held my tongue anyway.

A year later, we heard almost similar remarks from his Primary 1 teacher during the Parent-Teacher-Meeting in Nov. We took her comments with a pinch of salt after discussing with M. After all, if M was happy with going to school, felt he had friends to talk to and play with, it should be good enough.

Nevertheless, we still tried to nudge M towards making more friends and give pointers on social skills. Taught him how to open conversations with others, and how to join in a discussion etc. He appears popular in school and doesn't seem unhappy about his small circle of friends. Perhaps he just doesn't feel the need to be super chatty or to be always 'gossiping' about other kids in class.

More importantly, I want to consider the possibility that my boy may very well be an introvert and if he is happy being one, there is nothing wrong with that. There is no need to push him to be an extrovert, just because far more people consider it to be the superior personality trait. Enough light has been shed in recent years on the Power of Introverts and Why Introverts can be great leaders ... etc..

As for the social skills and handling of interpersonal relationships, there is a always room for improvement. But then again, my boy is only 7.





Monday, May 14, 2012

The Skinny Problem

I know many mums are like me - worrying incessantly about things that dads would never bat an eyelid on.

One of these being my kids' weight.

Right from the day my boys were born, I have been concerned about their weight gain and the lack of it.

They started out so chubby but the baby fat started melting away when they turned 4 months. By the time they blew out their first birthday candle, the not-so-nice aunties and uncles would tell me point-blank that my kids were undernourished.

They were NOT. They were just lanky. Very long and lean with just skin over their skinny frame.

By the time they were toddlers, they had lost every ounce of fat (to the naked eye, I mean). Whenever I showered or dressed them, I would feel a slight sadness, guilt and self-doubt. I couldn't help but wondered if I feed them right.

The dad always assures me that they just have his skinny genes. Well, he was very skinny back in those years.

Some concerned relatives had suggested I give them fast food a few times a week and feed as much deep-fried and chocolates as they fancy. But I stuck to my guns. No, they will continue their diet comprising mainly whole-grains, a wide range of unprocessed food and as many home-cooked meals as possible. I don't cut back on good fat, but I also don't let them indulge in saturated fat, junk food with empty calories just to 'fatten' them up.

A visit to the nutritionist last year sort of put my mind at ease. If the nutritionist thinks my boys have healthy appetites, are fed a good range of healthy food in sufficient quantity, then it should be fine.

Anyway, after a long, long wait, Marcus finally weighs over 20kg. Haha!

It's about time, baby.





Saturday, May 12, 2012

Coaching Olivia

The hubby of a close friend asked me recently if I intend to homeschool Olivia instead of sending her to a preschool.

After all, I have coached my boys with the trans-disciplinary thematic learning method since they were just toddlers, all through their preschool years and have achieved obvious good outcomes with both.

They also joined my lapbooking classes, which I facilitated with the same learning method, so they are exposed to the group discussions to hone their thinking, problem-solving and presentation skills.

I could have just coached them at home, but they would have missed out the opportunities to be involved and interact in the group discussions, a key aspect of the Bright Minds Lapbookers programme for all age groups.

Not only has the learning process given the boys a sense of confidence and achievement, more importantly, the coaching method inspires in them a love for learning and taught them to think for themselves and be independent learners who seek out knowledge instead of waiting to be spoonfed.

So yes, I have decided long before Olivia was born that she will be coached with the same method, right from infancy.

That said, there are also areas that I will tweak and things that I will now do differently with Olivia.

After all, my parenting journey as a very involved mum to the boys and experience as teacher/coach to hundreds of tots and preschoolers, has also taught me plenty.

More on this in another post.





Friday, May 11, 2012

Olivia: The 7-Months-old Go-Getter

It has been an exciting one month to witness the various ways that my baby has blossomed into a go-getter.

Sits.
A day before Olivia turned 7 months, she sat up straight in her playpen without any wobbling and spent the next 20 min or so busy chomping on her teether and all the other toys that she could reach.

Claps.
Ten days later, she started clapping her hands. She claps when she is happy. Sometimes she just claps out of the blue, before breaking into a grin. Super adorable.

Language.
A few days of clapping experience was enough for her to associate her act with the spoken word 'clap' and mummy's wild exclamations of pride, which in turn provided her with much joy and encouragement. Now, when I say 'clap' in front of her, her baby hands would find each other to make a sweet clapping sound, followed by a generous chuckle and a cheeky expression.

She babbles non-stop. I have come to realize recently that besides 'clap', she also understands 'splash', 'water', 'milk' and 'light'.

Stunts.
Soon after, she began a new stunt. She started pulling herself up when she was placed in her playpen and cot.

At first, her legs were rather wobbly and she could not figure out what to do to relief her tired arms and legs. So for many days, after a few minutes of pulling herself up, she would cry and utter sounds to get our attention, as if urging us to go rescue her.

Days later, she made progress. She would let go of both hands and fall backwards. Then she experimented with letting go of one hand before discovering she could just bend her knees and let go of both hands concurrently to land on her butt.

Concentration.
Like her brothers, Olivia is great entertaining herself in the playpen for a good 30 - 45 min at a stretch now. Occasionally, she will seek our attention and require some TLC. But if she is fed, dry and restful enough, all she needs is a quick cuddle before returning to the playpen for more playing.

She started exploring the house in her walker a few weeks ago. Her newfound freedom. She squeals with excitement and dashes around with a big smile.

Memory. 
She has discovered toys hidden under flannels and blankets. She fusses when I dim the light in my room for bedtime. She remembers where she last saw her favourite objects (e.g. remote controls and my handphone) and looks longingly in that direction whenever she enters my bedroom.

Eats. 
She was first introduced to solids when she turned 6 months. I started very slow and hesitated a lot along the way, lacking the enthusiasm I had with the boys. Now she has two meals a day, each comprising of 4 tbsp organic cereal mixed with 25 ml breast milk and 2-3 cubes of homemade pureed/mashed organic produce.


My beautiful dolly turns 8 months this week.

She started cruising yesterday. Just two steps, and very cautiously. And we spotted the tip of her first milk tooth, cutting through her gums.

My dolly.  xx





Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Proof of the Pudding....

It is not the first time that Competition has befriended me as a concerned parent seeking advice and information, before making a feeble attempt to introduce her own home-learning programme, packaged under a different name.

It is also not the first time that Competition has signed up for my 3-days Bright Minds Lapbookers workshops, under the pretext that she would like to expose her child to my programme, and swiftly launched her 'own' programme that appeared nothing short of a copycat of our tried-and-tested method.

Some will say 'imitation is the most sincere form of flattery'. Hah!

Perhaps it is. After all, how much can Competition learn if she has not been 'educated' by our  method of coaching?

A mum can add some crafts and field trips to a storybook that she reads with her child to enhance the learning experience, but to say she is teaching her child with the multi-disciplinary thematic method just amplifies her lack of understanding of the method. 

Which brings to mind another related question: if a parent can't produce sustainable learning outcomes in her own child, is she a reliable source to depend on for home-learning advice and information? 

Why would I pay someone who can't bake successfully to 'teach' me how to bake, even if it is for only 3 hours? Just listening to her share 'time-tested' recipes and philosophies on baking that she has simply downloaded from the Internet will make me a good baker? 

Anyone can just google and download free resources, but that alone doesn't make her an effective teacher.  In fact, there is way too much free resources online and they are FREE for a reason - anyone with a computer and some time can create them for sharing. But it doesn't mean they are all effective in aiding the child towards learning goals. It's true that not everyone evaluates quality and effectiveness of a resource in the same way. To some, as long as they cost nothing, it is good enough.

Many tend to overlook the fact that there is always an opportunity cost to using ineffective resources - the child's time and effort spent on them, and the opportunity lost to pick up some real skills.

To the parents who have never attended my classes and workshops before and those who have a misguided view of literature-based lapbooking and the trans-disciplinary thematic learning method  that we employ in our Bright Minds Lapbookers classes, they probably wouldn't have known the difference.

As the saying goes... the proof of the pudding is in the eating. 

But this I know - the hundreds of kids and parents who have experienced our Bright Minds Lapbookers (for 2 to 7 years) and Bright Tots Campus (for 15 months - 2 years) programmes and Coaching Bright Minds Workshop  (for parents only) before in the last three years will know the difference.

Many return to our classes, term after term, and also enrolled their younger kids when they are of age. Many are generous with encouraging feedback after their personal experience and through their recommendations, parents from all walks of life come to us. The result - our constant 6-month wait list for many classes. This is certainly the best testament of the strength of our programmes.

And it is for them - my loyal students and their amazingly supportive parents - that I shall continue to innovate and improve and bring on an even stronger programme.

Thank you everyone who have emailed and SMS me in the last few months when I took a break for Olivia .

I am back.


(All five of our three-days workshops are fully booked. The first workshop just ended in April. Our Term 3/2012 weekly classes commence in July.)







Monday, May 7, 2012

Playpen Shots

Photos taken in April 2012 (7 months old)
CIMG1823
Examining the colourful details for a long time.

CIMG1833
Being #3, she gets away with a lot more gnawing, simply because I have less time to watch her like a hawk and I have since learnt that babies are more resilient than I like to believe, so a little ‘impurities’ won’t hurt her. But I am not completely at ease with the idea yet. So there are still times when I squirm just at the idea and would jump out of my seat, drop everything I do to ‘rescue’ her or the object of desire.

CIMG1902
Pulling up to stand by herself. But not tall enough to see us. She figured real soon that she only needed to bend her body a little and tilt her head sideway to catch a glimpse of us.

Friday, May 4, 2012

After the Recent Hives

A few months ago, Chip broke out in hives for three consecutive days.

I don't remember getting hives in my childhood and young adulthood or seeing them on my siblings before. My first memory of them was when I was living in London. I was walking along Brick Land with E after a (spicy) hot curry supper on a cold, windy autumn night when he noticed a pink bump on one of my cheeks.

Ever since, I was no longer a stranger to hives. They would pop up on my face or neck when I least expect them and I never figured out the causes.

The boys had a few episodes of hives in the recent years. If I recall right, they were nearly always found on Chip. Usually, we would give the kids some anti-histamine and just wait for the drug to take effect.

However, what I found puzzling in that three-days-episode was how the hives only showed up in the late afternoons for the three consecutive days. After a dose of anti-histamine on each day, they subsided a few hours later and Chip didn't suffer any other discomfort or side effects, other than severe itch.

I tried to list the food he ate in those three days but didn't find any common food that could possibly trigger the allergy.

I also tried to keep the house as dust-free as possible, and insisted that the kids change into clean clothes often throughout the day, since dust is another potential trigger.

The hives didn't return on the fourth day. I couldn't understand that either though I was relieved.

Last week, Chip had another three-days-episode of hives which first showed up when he was in school. He scratched so much that he bled.

Again, we couldn't figure out the triggers since he ate different food for the three days. Perhaps, the hives was due to viral infection instead of food-related. But there was no fever.

The worrier in me can't stop wondering if there is something else (more serious) that could be causing these episodes that lasted a few days at a time.

E, as usual, was very calm and nonchalant. 


'If you are so worried, why not take him for a prick test and determine the things that he could be allergic to'.  

The hubby did a prick test a few years ago, but the knowledge of allergens wasn't enough to result in any sustainable improvement to his condition.

So I am hesitant about administering the same test on Chip. Never mind the hefty price tag, but without an assured level of effectiveness to eradicate allergy, it seems to be a futile exercise.

For now, I am adopting a wait-and-see attitude. But I am switching to Ecover for the children's laundry. Even if there is no visible difference, it is good for my own peace of mind.



Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Contradictions. Idiocy.

#1
Reacting to a request to be hygienic:
A: "Why so fussy? We live in a world full of germs and bacteria anyway. We all have to die one day."

Reacting to a request for clean, rinsed plates:
A: "Why so fussy? All the plates at hawker centres are rinsed in dirty pails anyway. We all have to die one day."

Reacting to ghost stories:
A: "Oh I am so scared to die. "

#2
When served with Made-in-China food products that A doesn't care for:
A: "I don't eat them. Who knows what stuff goes into them. They will kill me."

When served with Made-in-China food products that A likes:
A: "It's ok to eat them. Yes, I know their origin. But they are so delicious. Aiya, they will not kill me. We all have to die one day."

#3
After realizing I walk home from supermarket with my groceries in plastic bag:
A: How can you do that? Must use a cooler bag or bacteria will grow in the meat. Even if the meat is exposed to the sun for 10 min.

When I asked about the meat that A is thawing by the window for the past 5 hours:
A: It's no big deal to have a little sunlight on the meat. Bacteria won't grow so fast.


People who preach and preach but practise only what is convenient to them really gets my goat.





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