Those who know my boys often tell me how different they are. They do have fairly different temperaments and personalities, though both can be considered precocious and academically advanced for their age.
In the recent years, I have noticed how M is becoming more of an introvert. He is very empathic and highly sensitive, while Chip is more sociable and not more sensitive than a typical 5 years old.
Though M gets along well with many kids, I am convinced he finds it a little challenging to find friends who have similar interests or at same wavelength as him. I am sure this has something to do with his personality and perhaps social skills as well.
To begin with, because M reads widely and beyond his age and has preference for toys and hobbies that are meant for older kids, most kids his age can’t really appreciate what he says or shares his interests.
Though M gets along well with many kids, I am convinced he finds it a little challenging to find friends who have similar interests or at same wavelength as him. I am sure this has something to do with his personality and perhaps social skills as well.
To begin with, because M reads widely and beyond his age and has preference for toys and hobbies that are meant for older kids, most kids his age can’t really appreciate what he says or shares his interests.
When he was in Kindy 2, his best friend was another kid who had similar interests in submarines and were able to discuss technical details in depth, which most typical K2 kids aren’t keen on.
Just because he was not chatty like other boys and didn't appear enthusiastic enough to join in the 'exciting' discussions about Ben 10 and other TV programmes, his kindy teacher raised a red flag and suggested he didn't know how to fit in, was shy and perhaps lacking social skills.
At first, I wondered if the teacher could be right. But the slightly rebellious and individualistic side me threatened to challenge her: what is so good about fitting in and what's wrong with not wanting to discuss Ben 10 and those duh TV programmes anyway? But, I held my tongue anyway.
A year later, we heard almost similar remarks from his Primary 1 teacher during the Parent-Teacher-Meeting in Nov. We took her comments with a pinch of salt after discussing with M. After all, if M was happy with going to school, felt he had friends to talk to and play with, it should be good enough.
Nevertheless, we still tried to nudge M towards making more friends and give pointers on social skills. Taught him how to open conversations with others, and how to join in a discussion etc. He appears popular in school and doesn't seem unhappy about his small circle of friends. Perhaps he just doesn't feel the need to be super chatty or to be always 'gossiping' about other kids in class.
More importantly, I want to consider the possibility that my boy may very well be an introvert and if he is happy being one, there is nothing wrong with that. There is no need to push him to be an extrovert, just because far more people consider it to be the superior personality trait. Enough light has been shed in recent years on the Power of Introverts and Why Introverts can be great leaders ... etc..
As for the social skills and handling of interpersonal relationships, there is a always room for improvement. But then again, my boy is only 7.
Just because he was not chatty like other boys and didn't appear enthusiastic enough to join in the 'exciting' discussions about Ben 10 and other TV programmes, his kindy teacher raised a red flag and suggested he didn't know how to fit in, was shy and perhaps lacking social skills.
At first, I wondered if the teacher could be right. But the slightly rebellious and individualistic side me threatened to challenge her: what is so good about fitting in and what's wrong with not wanting to discuss Ben 10 and those duh TV programmes anyway? But, I held my tongue anyway.
A year later, we heard almost similar remarks from his Primary 1 teacher during the Parent-Teacher-Meeting in Nov. We took her comments with a pinch of salt after discussing with M. After all, if M was happy with going to school, felt he had friends to talk to and play with, it should be good enough.
Nevertheless, we still tried to nudge M towards making more friends and give pointers on social skills. Taught him how to open conversations with others, and how to join in a discussion etc. He appears popular in school and doesn't seem unhappy about his small circle of friends. Perhaps he just doesn't feel the need to be super chatty or to be always 'gossiping' about other kids in class.
More importantly, I want to consider the possibility that my boy may very well be an introvert and if he is happy being one, there is nothing wrong with that. There is no need to push him to be an extrovert, just because far more people consider it to be the superior personality trait. Enough light has been shed in recent years on the Power of Introverts and Why Introverts can be great leaders ... etc..
As for the social skills and handling of interpersonal relationships, there is a always room for improvement. But then again, my boy is only 7.