Friday, April 29, 2011

Marcus @ 6 years 7 months old

I can't believe it sometimes that my first born is almost 7 years old. Evident from the pictures we took of him recently, he has gradually shed the image of a preschooler and is now fast entering another phase of growth. 

At 115 cm, he is hardly among the tallest in his cohort. In the recent years, he has also lost every ounce of fat there ever was underneath his skin and is now just a lanky boy.

Within his skinny frame lies a real big heart and a sentimental soul. So kind and gentle that he won't even consider hurting an ant or pull a leaf off a branch. Such is the true nature of my beautiful boy. 


March '11 at Kota Kinabalu: drenched from jumping waves

Marcus is also very affectionate. He displays his affections for people he loves readily and expresses them through words and lots of actions. He plants kisses on my hands (like an English gentleman :>) and cheeks and tells me he loves me. He leaves me little notes with I Love You, Mummy messages. When we are out and about, he almost always holds my hand and sits close to me. Sometimes, he rests his head on my arm when we are seated waiting for something. 


Taken in Oct '10. Day of his K2 concert. 



Taken in Feb '11 on the Ducktour.

In the last two years, I often wonder if I had spent enough time with him. It is easy to leave him alone because he is so good at keeping himself entertained with his hobbies and interests. He doesn't come to me for attention or help normally as he knows how to meet his basic needs. Since our kitchen is out of bounds for the kids, I serve him the three meals and snacks. Other than that, he is independent enough throughout the day. 



He is enjoying school now and has gotten used to the long school hours. He goes about his morning routine in 50 minutes with no complains before strolling downstairs to wait for the school bus. Even for the few minutes wait, my bookworm always arms himself with a book of his choice and is happy to sneak in some reading time wherever he is.

To my joy, he has turned out to be very self-motivated in his own achievements. He would come home announcing excitedly what he called 'good news' to us. Just last week, he informed us that he is in the top 3 of his class for all subjects and is aiming to maintain that standard. I'm pleased that he is learning to benchmark himself against the best and is motivated to work towards his own goals. 

After school, what's left of the day is usually spent between home-learning, drawing, reading and playing with Lego. He always enjoys some boys' style play with his brother everyday, whether in the comforts of home or outdoors.



Though they disagree and fight often like every pair of siblings, their love for each other is obvious and heartwarming to watch. Overall, he is still very much the protective big brother though his little sibling is no longer a pushover either.

Just the other day after his tennis lesson, a much older (maybe Primary 5) boy accidentally bumped into M. N was nearby and he immediately went up to the P5 boy with a raised voice and arms on his hips. 'Why did you bump into my brother, huh? Did you not see him standing here?'. The P5 boy was slightly amused at being told off by this smaller kid and apologised to M. If N didn't intervene, I suspect M would have just brushed it off, given his good nature, instead of confronting the big kid for apology.


He is really into making faces for the camera and clowning around in front of us. It makes me wonder if this has to do with a perceived need to remain cute or is it just something he really enjoys doing.  It can be so hard just to get a picture of him with a straight expression. 


M's favourite outdoor activities are still dips in the pool and visits to playgrounds or the beach. He especially loves picking up seashells from the beach. I must really get him a treasure box for him to keep all his favourite things.



A few days ago, a thought crossed my mind as I watched him alight the school bus. He always has this mega grin when he sees me waiting for him and the moment he reaches me, he would lean very close to me as we walk back to the lift hand-in-hand. Such days won't last forever. 

I must appreciate our time together more and cherish his smallness.





Thursday, April 28, 2011

Baby #3: OSCAR at Week 13

For my previous pregnancies, I just waited till the pregnancy week 20 to have the Fetal Anatomy scan. 

But this time round, I was informed by my OB of the OSCAR test when I saw him at the end of my pregnancy week 11. This is a combination test offered in the first trimester to screen for risk of fetal anomalies, in particular Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21). Not everyone needs to go through this. I was offered because I'm past 35.

It makes sense to detect anomalies earlier in the pregnancy. If the results turn out to be negative, pregnant mums in the high risk group can avoid the invasive amniocentesis which is usually carried out between Week 15 and 20. Should one be given the positive results from the OSCAR test, which boasts an accuracy rate between 90 and 93%, with a 3 to 5% false positive rate, one has the option to go through the diagnostic amniocentesis while still in the first trimester. 

We had about 3 days to make the decision of whether to take up the OSCAR test, which was kind of rushed and stressful for me. I couldn't sleep well that period and couldn't decide what to do. 

I should only undergo the test if we decide to take actions (i.e. terminate the pregnancy) should the OSCAR and subsequent amniocentesis provide us with unfortunate results. E and I discussed. As always, I was amazed at how logical he can be. I was a lot more affected by emotions. We decided. My appointment was made for a few days later. 

That day, I went alone though E offered to accompany me. I figured I could handle it myself and didn't really need him to be there. It would be just a simple scan and blood test. 

In the end, the scan took the whole morning because baby wasn't lying the right position. I went in and out of the ultrasound room for at least 6 times. By the 5th time, just as I was lying there watching the screen and the radiographer was trying her best to jiggle my tummy to wake up baby who was sound asleep, an overwhelming feeling swept over me. It took me a few seconds to understand what that was. I knew then that even if the scan result turned out to be positive, I will want to keep the baby. At that instant, I thought of my friend who has a child with Down Syndrome. I felt an amazing inner strength which reinforced my conviction of what I really wanted from this pregnancy. 

By the 6th or maybe 7th time to the ultrasound room, the radiographer finally got what she needed. I was sent home and told to wait till the following morning for a call from the OB's clinic. The wait was truly agonizing. 

The whole afternoon, I was tense and super edgy. When I looked at my boys, I felt a huge pang of guilt too. There were so many what-ifs that went through my mind. Strangely, I didn't feel calm or at peace at all, though I knew what I wanted. I guess, at the end of the day, I was still hoping that there would only be good news. 

At 4.30pm, I took a call from the clinic. The nurse's voice over the other end of the line was so high-pitched and a little overly excited. She told me 'Mummy, Dr has seen the results. Very good. Very good.' 

No words could describe my relief. I was sure my smile of relief and happiness hung on my face long after I ended the call. 

I was also very appreciative that my OB was efficient enough to look through the scan results in the same afternoon and informed me so soon. 

With this episode over, I slept like a baby that night.



Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Macho with Pigs

It is not easy to look macho posing with the growing brood, though that was precisely what my 4-year-old was trying to do. :>


(Clockwise: Big Pig (peach spotty), Beanie, Baby Pig, Iggy, Piggy, Wiggy and Oink) Robo-Pig is not in the picture.



He gave up and tried a different look. Haha! 

This sleepy look was unintentional, but I thought a picture of him with an armful of stuffed pigs is priceless.

This was taken last Dec when he was out shopping for a Beanie with E. He ended up picking a cute little one. 

Just when I thought he would carry on this love relationship with his hogs for many more years, he has very recently diverted his love and attention to someone else which E brought back from Las Vegas. Hmm....  


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

When Love is Besides Me

Whenever I am with my girlfriends, they will tell me what a keeper my hubby is. And I know it is true. :> 

There was this particular week last month when I couldn't stop thinking of durian. I don't want to blame the pregnancy for the cravings because even without it, I crave this rich yellow flesh a few times a year anyway. 

But since I can't just get on the treadmill now to work off the extra calories, I must think twice, even thrice before indulging in the sinful fruit. In the end, I managed to abstain from it the whole week though I did drool severely when I chanced upon details of this mouthwatering durian degustation. 

That Sunday, after the few hours of teaching, I was hurried home by a few phone messages from E, which was kind of unusual. The moment I got back, he packed the whole family into a cab and we headed to the nearest place to buy me some of the stinky fruit that 'smells like rotten animals mixed with garbage'. That is how the hubby described it. Haha...  

On the ride back, I felt so loved to be accompanied by one giant box of durian just for me. Even more so because hubby had initiated the trip to buy it, despite how much he can't stand having the house and fridge smelling of durian.


Image from Google


My boys learnt a long time ago that this is mummy's favourite fruit. They are very curious with the spiky appearance but don't want to have anything to do with what's in it. They questioned me on its taste and texture but would run away from me whenever any durian made it to our dining table, because of what they considered a horrible stench. The desertion is probably good since I can enjoy in peace and I don't have to share. :> 

Maybe I will introduce this glorious fruit to Baby O when he/she turns one and hope that the baby will grow to love it. It is no guarantee of course since I did that to M too. He devoured the first two seeds greedily when he was around 18 months. But never again. 




Monday, April 25, 2011

Kids and Freedom

A few months ago, one of M's favourite lines was 'work, work, work, that is all that I'm good for around here'. 

This is also one of those infamous lines from Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes). While I'm on this, I must say I am often tempted to blame this comic series for its bad influence, despite the pleasures it brings to my boy. 

M usually accompanied this grouse with some feet dragging and a grouchy expression. At first, to be honest, I did think it was a wee bit comical that he was mimicking Calvin's behaviour. But when I started seeing it as often as a daily basis, it got on my nerves. 

Don't get me wrong though - he was not even complaining because he was asked to do any housework or homework. 

It could be something as routine as brushing teeth before bedtime, or placing the stack of books he had read back to the bookshelf. To say this behaviour of his was super annoying is understating the full extent of its effect on me. 

To him, most activities that tear him away from his hobbies are just a giant inconvenience and disruption to his play time, which he has also begun to label as 'freedom'. 

One day, he asked me when will he be free to go out on his own, to decide what to eat and when to eat, and can do whatever he wants anytime he wants for as long as he wants etc... etc... 

I remember asking those questions too. But not before I was 12. And I remember my uncle gave me a few pep talks about 'freedom and its consequences' when I was 14-year-old. I was at my angry and rebellious phase then. But my boy is not even 7 yet! 

So we had our pep talks. Boundaries were reiterated. Explanations were given. Still, every few days, my patience would be tested to the extreme. That was swiftly followed by raised voices and removal of privileges. And tears.

Basically, I refused to give in or be swayed by his grouses. Especially when he started talking back and questioning everything I asked him to do, throughout the day. I certainly didn't feel the need to still explain why he has to brush teeth at night or why he won't get any bedtime story if he dilly-dallied past 9 pm. 

So in the end, there were a lot of 'you just have to and I don't want to talk about it anymore' and 'just do it!'. 

For years, I have always adopted the authoritative parenting style, or tried to anyway. But in that period, I kept wondering if I have slipped and become an authoritarian parent instead! There is a fine difference between the two and I've always avoided being the latter. 

Because of that, I take the time and efforts to always explain the rationale behind any decisions or instructions I gave, especially when the kids asked. I don't want them to feel that they just have to obey. But in that period, it soon became clear that he was questioning me because it was the only way he knew to delay doing something. 

After some reflection, I decided to be even more insistent that he did what needed to be done and did it straightaway. Or I will just take away his privileges. I always tell the kids that in our household, there are few rights, but plenty of privileges which can be earned with good behaviour. Similarly, I would not hesitate taking them away.

A few days ago, it dawned on me that it has been a while since I last heard the 'work, work, work .... ' line from M. He still drags his feet, slouches and appears grumpy several times a day, but I think we have reached a better place now. I may have found the way to manage him with a combination of hard and soft approaches..

I won't go so far to say that we have passed the phase, which I don't think is really possible. Going forward, I am bracing myself for bigger and tougher fights as the kids grow even more assertive and demanding and perhaps less cooperative. 

That period did give me a glimpse of the challenging adolescence stage which doesn't seem that far away from the present. At least for now, my boy is still too young to slam the door and initiate a cold war with me. And I shall continue to remind myself to embrace him and all that he offers, for he is after all, just a 6-year-old. 



Thursday, April 21, 2011

Cheery Pieces

These are random pieces by my 4-year-old which I love.  *.*


Inspired by the book Ping Pong Pig.

Happy crabby. 

A welcoming Piggy.

His classmate Bryce. 

This chick drawing was copied from a Chinese reader. 

Baby owl on a branch. 


Yet another happy pig. There are always lots of drawings of happy pigs in our house. :> 

N has always been more open to drawing different subject matters. His pieces are often very child-like, with an innocent, cheery quality that brings me sunshine. 

Perhaps very soon, this beautiful trait will be less visible in his artistic expressions as he matures....  

These other three pieces aren't as optimistic but they reflected very well the 'flavours of the month'. 

A space invader game that he invented, complete with rules. 

A giant squid which emerged from the ocean to capture a train! Cool theme! He is really into monstrous squids now. 

A random train with carriages and gigantic wheels. This last piece reminds me of M's pieces when he was this age. :> 



Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Boys' Humour

Whenever I trade parenting stories with other mummy friends, one thing always struck me as hilarious - the toilet humour and gross stories that little boys are capable of coming up with! 

I am no stranger to them, no thanks to my boys who are immensely amused with their abilities in this department.  

From the 4-year-old recently:

Imagine a boy who has no butt, and his poo and pee all come out of his wi**y. And if he can't find a toilet, he pees and poos into a cup. That is also the cup which he drinks from. 

YIKES!!!  What gross stuff! 

He planted the picture in my mind just as I was about to sip my juice. Hmm... 



Monday, April 18, 2011

Stories that Moved My Kids

I first heard of The Giving Tree a few years ago, but had never seen it around in bookshops or libraries until late last year. 

After reading the Chinese version for the first time at a National Library branch, I fell in love with the story. It touched me on more levels than I thought a simple book like this could do. There was a period when Chip couldn't get enough of this story too. I must have read the borrowed book for over 50 times in the 3 weeks period. :> 

But I still couldn't decide which version to buy until I chanced upon the English one in Kinokuniya, which I find pales in comparison. Needless to say, I ordered the Chinese book and waited eagerly for its arrival.



This other book (picture below) was also originally written in another language and translated to Chinese. 

M teared up when I read this for the first time. He examined the pictures closely and reflected on the story. A simple story, yet very well-written.




Now I own them both. These are definitely keepers. :> 

I would love to read them to my grandkids one day. 






Sunday, April 17, 2011

Tickling Monsters





One of their favourite games. 

The moment E walks in after work, the 4-year-old will dash to him like an excited pup while squealing like a pig, with the irresistible request of 'Daddy, daddy, can we play tickling monster game now?'  :> 

The boys are missing daddy who is currently away for a 10 days business trip. 

Every night, M will climb into my bed between 1 and 2am and fall straight back to sleep on E's pillow. He said he wanted to 'be close' to daddy. 

Chip comes in slightly later in the wee hours with his Wiggy. As usual, he lies very close next to me, so close that when I turn to sleep on my side, my nose will inevitably touch his face or hair. :>

My little boys. 



Friday, April 15, 2011

Much to Love about Transformers

My 6-year-old is still nuts over them. :> 

From the details of each drawing, you can tell how much free time he has after school. 

















More here from a while back. 

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Made with Love

My sweet Chipsy started making some presents for Baby O a few weeks ago. 

Like the shoemaker in The Elves and the Shoemaker book, he carefully cut out some 'leather' for three pairs of shoes of different sizes, so that Baby O will have shoes to wear when his/her feet grow. 



Then he decorated them with pretty designs so that his baby brother or sister will love them. But if Baby doesn't like them, he will make more until Baby finds one that he/she likes. AWw.... 

A week later, he lovingly designed a blanket for Baby O. He kept asking me how big the baby will be at birth so that he can make the right size for him/her to use straightaway. 

He even placed it on his own tummy to see if it will fit nicely. :> 

Here is the finished product. 


Such cute little designs. Of course there has to be a drawing of Pig somewhere since this is his favourite animal. Notice the 'Nicholas loves baby' words on the blanket. So Baby O will always remember that he/she has a brother who loves him so much. 

He is planning to make clothes, socks and mittens now. :>  

Baby O is not even born yet and already, my beautiful Chipsy is planning how to pamper his little sibling. 

How can we not love the little ones and their gigantic hearts? 


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Chinese Lessons

Up till now, I am still resisting Chinese classes and enrichment for my boys, though I have considered the options many times over in the past two years. The final decision is always the same - I shall do the coaching myself. 

I am not fond of classes that follow the MOE curriculum so closely such that they revise the schoolwork with the kids. I can do that myself easily. Nor am I interested in those that teach a few weeks ahead to prepare the kids in advance for the school lessons.

From the feedback I've read/heard, parts of the curriculum of certain enrichment programmes are simply too esoteric and inpractical. For example, why memorise aphorisms (chengyu 成语) which students would rarely use at this level, if ever, except to score points in school essays later on. What I find even more ludicrous is the teachings of analects (lunyu 论语)

Not only am I skeptical of their effectiveness for my kids at this age, I'm also not convinced that we can inculcate interest in the Chinese language and culture simply through the introduction of aphorisms and analects. I've known some parents who made their preschoolers memorize and recite analects!! If we were living in Confucius times, I can see why. But in our modern times?! 

I am searching for a programme that emphasizes oral Chinese and conversational skills above anything else. My boys have no problem with the listening, comprehension, reading and writing aspects. So their weakness lies in their oral Chinese. To speak Mandarin is not a tall order. But to speak fluently and beautifully is the challenge. That said, I'm beginning to think that my 4-year-old may have a headstart compared to his older brother in this aspect because I started coaching him differently much earlier. Perhaps their personalities have a role to play too. 

Friends have suggested speech and drama classes, but I am doubtful they will meet my objective despite their popularity. I'm also wondering if a tutor will be able to do a better job in motivating M to speak more Mandarin than I can. After all, the tutor will only be seeing him for max. 2 hrs a week. 

If the child doesn't know the word when he hears it, obviously he will have difficulty understanding the word and its usage when he reads it. Arming him with a bilingual dictionary is only going to help after a child has attained a certain level of proficiency. And he still needs self-motivation to put the dictionary to good use. 

Sure, reading a lot and being read to will help them pick up the vocabulary and sentence structures. But at the end of the day, it doesn't solve the problem of boosting confidence and fluency in the language. I know, I am expecting a lot and that's the tiger mum in me speaking. But I'm still confident that they can be proficient in the language in time to come.

Growing up, I was actually more fluent in Mandarin than in English, simply because my only source of entertainment back then was the Channel 8 TV programmes. We spoke dialect at home (so my Hokkien is superb!) and English was a language used only during school lessons. 

For my boys, the situation has totally reversed. They rarely watch Chinese TV programmes and are also not interested in them. We are definitely a English-speaking family. In the last two years, though I have increased the time spent speaking Mandarin to the boys, we can still do better in this area. 

I recognize that in a few months' time, I may not be able to coach them on the Chinese language for several hours a week on a one-to-one basis like I do now. So I'm stepping up on our efforts at home to beef up their foundation and stretch them further while I still can afford the time. 

More about what we do at home in a separate post. 


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Baby #3: The Joy of Choosing Names

Two weeks ago, I started discussing names for Baby with my boys. It quickly turned into a passionate brainstorming session. 

The kids suggested some crazy, hilarious names, but the ones that took the cake came from my 4-year-old. Every few seconds, he went ... 

How about Lava Boy? 

Oh what about Lightning Boy? 

Umm.. we can call baby Tsunami Boy?  

E and I laughed so hard at all his suggestions. 

At the end of the few minutes, we had an incredibly long list of names that can at best be passed off as nicknames. One of M's suggestions was 'Sexy' regardless of Baby's gender. Hmm....

E is now rooting for 'Lightning Boy'. Imagine introducing my newborn baby to my girlfriends..... 

Hey ladies, I'm so pleased to introduce to you my gorgeous baby #3. Here's Lightning Boy! 

YEAH right!!!!    *mega sarcastic tone here in case you can't spot it*


~~~

Years before I was even married, I already had two long lists of names. One containing all my favourite names for my unborn son(s) and another for my future daughter(s).

So when I was expecting my first child, I thought picking names would be one of the easiest tasks to get done since I already had a 'short' list. I was wrong.

As it turned out, E has such different opinions of what made a wonderful name that he shot down every name I had on my lists faster than I could scream any protests. 

Having lived in Europe for most part of his life, many names that are deemed interesting and lovely to me carried negative connotations to him. Or he would associate them with unpleasant adjectives/traits. 

The ones that he loves are just so impossible for me to even contemplate unless I plan to make a laughing stock out of my children. The disagreements continued for months. 

When we were expecting #1, we came to a mutually agreed shortlist of only two names (Marcus and Oliver) by the time I was 5 months pregnant. That was after I shot down all his wacky suggestions such as Fox, Neptune, Eagle and Hawk. *roll eyes* After that, no other names found its way to the consideration list. The day #1 was born, I looked at him and decided to name him Marcus. I don't know why, but it just felt right. 

With the second pregnancy, I woke up one day convinced that if #2 is a boy, I liked him to be Ethan. E disagreed and reminded me of the numerous Ethans we will meet in the near future because of the Mission Impossible movie (Tom Cruise played the Ethan character). Yah, he was so right! 

After that, we were so busy being parents that we didn't think of another name till I had about 3 months left to my EDD. Already clear of the gender, we went straight to make a list of boys' names. Oliver wasn't even considered this time. A week after my EDD (Chip was born 10 days past the EDD), we were still toggling between Jason, Lucas and Nicholas. The name was finalized a night before I went into labour. 

For this pregnancy, I already have a favourite name for boy and another for girl long before we even planned to add to the brood. E doesn't have any strong opinions for them, so for now, they are the only names we have. Everyone in the family has been referring to the baby as Baby O since the day I found out of his/her existence in January.

But recently, I decided that the boy's name is probably a poor choice because it could be pronounced differently by cheeky kids and hence making the child a target for potential nasty teases. Doh.....  

Now I am just waiting for inspiration to knock. Maybe I don't even need a boy's name after all. Shall find out real soon! 



Sunday, April 10, 2011

His Homemade Books (by 4-year-old)

These two books 'The Pig and Squids' and 'Sea Life' are authored and illustrated entirely by Chipsy. He came up with the big ideas and went ahead to make them last week.


The only help he received was in the stapling of the papers and spelling of some words. As I was coaching M on something else at that time, I didn't even check on his work-in-progress until they were completed. I'm impressed with the complete sentences on most pages and how he managed to spell so many sight words himself. I decided not to correct his grammar at this point, considering that he managed to get quite a bit right by himself. 

Oh, the next day, I nudged him to color his drawings to make the book more colourful. Otherwise he was happy to just leave them black and white, just like his brother would do. :) 

Sea Life by Pig


The jellyfish has tentacles and it can sting you. 
The starfish has arms and bumps.


The octopus has tentacles. 
A blue whale has flippers and a big tail. (He insisted on writing the words in a clockwise direction and confined them to the tiny bubble-size space)


The sea anemone could sting you. 
The crab can pinch you with its pincers and it has eight legs.


The Pig and the Squids by Pig












In terms of progress, my 4-year-old has come a long way. Compared to the books he made between last Oct and December, there are obvious improvements in these recent ones. 

Like I always say, a few months is a long period of time for a preschooler. With the right methods, some perseverance and our loving attention, we can guide our child to progress far.



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