Saturday, February 27, 2010

A Discussion Between 5 Kids

Child #1: Spiders come from webs.

Child #2: No, spiders come from eggs. 

Child #3: No, you mean spiders hatch from eggs. 

Child #4: Wait! Spiderlings hatch from eggs. 

Child #5: Hmm... if spiderlings hatch from eggs and eggs are laid by the adult female spiders, then where did the first egg come from? Wait! Where did the first spider come from? 

All the other kids scratched their heads and exploded into peals of laughter!

The 5th Child is my 5 yr old Marcus. 

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Parenting Thoughts: Improving Concentration Span

The ability to concentrate is both an act of will and an acquired skill. 

For very young kids, it is hard to impose the act of will. We can't ask a child to sit still and concentrate, listen or focus. It is also ineffective to nag, threaten or bribe our kids. By doing so, we are teaching them that they get extrinsic rewards or avoid unpleasant experiences if they 'work', co-operate or comply. 

The results? A child who requires parents to dangle a carrot every time he is asked to 'work'.

It has to be more effective, in the long-term for sure, to help a child in his development of the concentration skill. 

Start young. 

Like all skills, a headstart advantage makes a significant difference and any achievements accumulated over time are important.

A few things I used to/still do to improve my boys' concentration span when they were little:

1. Remove distractions
Take out one toy at a time and play with him or encourage him to play on his own. When there are too many toys in front of a child, of course we are tempting them to wander off from one to another. With my kids, I don't have to do that anymore, though I still insist that they don't watch TV and play toys concurrently. 

2. Introduce activities that train concentration span, e.g. puzzles, crafts, sensorial and practical life experiences (like pouring/scooping) etc are great for this.

3. Whenever they wander off an activity, gently coax and bring them back to the same activity. Show them how to play something differently and new ways to explore etc. This is particularly effective and important in cultivating that much-needed 'extra minute'.

4. Provide toys and 'work' (for older kids) that are developmentally appropriate (rather than age-appropriate). 

5. Ensure a balance between fun and challenge. When a task is too simple, it bores the child and encourages him (or his mind) to wander off. When it is too difficult, it discourages attempts and exploration. So it is always important to introduce a certain element of challenge to motivate learning, but ensuring that it is achievable when the child puts in efforts. 

6. Be generous with praises and words of encouragement when the child makes efforts to try again or harder at a task. 

7. Limit exposure to TV and the Internet (for older kids). It is so unnecessary for kids under 2 to watch TV, even educational programmes. There are more disadvantages than advantages, even if they are accompanied by an adult. 


For very young children, extending their concentration span is as important as teaching them phonics since learning to focus on tasks early on in life means the child will learn much more effectively at every learning session, be it in school or at home. 

In my classes, I introduce a variety of trans-disciplinary thematic games and activities at every lesson which not only teach content, but also concurrently work on a child's multiple skills. Concentration skill is one of them. 

It is extremely rewarding to see 2-year-olds focusing through most parts of our hourly-long lessons, needing only an occasional coaxing from their accompanying parents to return to the 'centre of activities'. And it is heartening when my 3-year-old students can fully concentrate on our lapbooking activities with me throughout the lessons. Some of these kids wouldn't even read a book with their parents before! 

When we see such progress, of course we should take a moment to rejoice. And I do. Most often, I do so with the parents

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Our Biggest Lapbook!

This is one of my favourite lapbooks for many reasons. 

My 5 y.o started this literature-based lapbook on ocean-related themes around Nov '09 in the Bright Minds Lapbookers class with other Age 5.5 to 7 years old kids. 

After the five 75 min (1 hr 15 min) lessons, we expanded the lapbook as part of our homeschooling activities. We probably added another 6 to 8 hours worth of learning, excluding time spent on additional crafts. 







During this lapbooking class, the kids were exposed to a wide range of thinking questions, problem solving scenarios and tasked to challenge the unknown by drawing on existing knowledge (what they learnt in this and previous lapbooks) and applying it to the new situations. 

After this lapbook, I knew the kids in the class are ready for more challenges. So in Term 2/2010 that starts in April, the duration of the class will be extended to 1 hr 30 min. The additional time will provide opportunities for the kids to work in pairs or groups of 3 to conduct thematic experiments, observations and carry out research work! 

Till the next update.... 

Monday, February 22, 2010

Cut Paper Collage: Colorful Barn



My 5 y.o did this last September. One of those that I forgot to post. 

He meticulously cut out pieces of colored paper to fit into the picture. Great practice for cutting and estimating the paper sizes to cut in order for the barn picture to 'show up'. 

It was one of our 'preparatory' crafts for the more challenging ones that I had in mind. 

More to come.... 

Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Daily Feed

The Smoker Fireboat Rocket goes to space. The conductor switched on the button and the fire and smoke will come out of the top, where the hole is. The valve will open. When the conductor switched it off, all the fire will go back through the valve.  There is a special black hole in the valve and the fire goes into the black hole.... 

One of my daily entertainment is listening to such narratives from my 3-year-old who is currently obsessed with black holes and crab nebula. 

I was so surprised when he used the word 'valve'. He seems to understand what it means when I asked him to explain. The only time I mentioned the word was when I was explaining to his brother M how the tap (faucet) works. 

I didn't even realize he was listening to my conversation with M since he was in another room playing Lego. And I am even more amazed that he could understand what it means and use it in his own story. 

Again, another example that clearly illustrates the importance of a language rich environment. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

Whenever I finish my classes, all I want to do is to hurry home and spend time with my boys. 

I could not wait to read to them and sit with them and ask them about their day. Or to cuddle and tickle them and make them laugh. Or do a craft together and learn something with them. 

Spending hours teaching other children makes me miss my little boys so much. Which is quite unexpected since I do spend most of my waking hours with them. 

I realize that working with other kids and trying to coach them like how I coach my boys, has touched a soft spot in me. In some ways, it has driven and inspired me to work even harder to be a better mum. 

It makes me wonder if most teachers with young kids at home would feel this way too. 

While looking at some old photos a few nights ago, I found these few photos taken in Nov 2005 at a friend's baby shower. Marcus was 14 months old then. 

Hello.....  (touching her fingers)


Hmmph!  (He got ignored... so he tried to kick her.)



He found this naked little girl playing at the condo fountain and he approached her (in the first photo). After some baby-talk to each other, the little gal chased him back. 

What a good reminder of how fast kids grow up! I could still pretty much remember the details of that day with my baby Marcus and the baby shower we attended. 

We must cherish more of the moments we have now. It is TODAY that counts. 

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Love is ......

........  understanding me so well and knowing what will make me tick. 

E got me this book two weeks ago as a surprise. 



The moment I saw the cover, I dropped everything and had to read it straightaway!  

It may sound a bit geeky, but I do love this thoughtful gesture. It is kinda romantic to me. 

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Outliers: The Story of Success


Though I read this book - Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell almost six weeks ago (during our last Dec holiday at Phuket), I am still pondering over many details.

There are many chapters in the book that I enjoy, particularly, the one on Marita's Bargain, which discusses the fact - all that a young child needs is Opportunity.

I remember reading about the KIPP: Knowledge is Power Programme a few years ago in either the New York Times or Business Times and was so impressed with the results. In this chapter, Gladwell presented another example in the story of Marita, a young girl who is given this precious opportunity to change her life. The equation is simple:
Opportunity + Strength + Presence of Mind = Success.

I also re-read the two chapters on The Trouble With Genuises and how two people with exceptional intelligence (IQ 190), Chris Langan and J. Robert Oppenheimer, end up with such vastly different fortunes. This blog post sums it up.

What is equally interesting, though not new to me, is the part on the two parenting styles: concerted cultivation vs. natural growth. It highlights the differences between parents who are highly involved in and take charged of their children's development and skills cultivation and those who think kids should be left to be developed naturally (and that learning and education is best left to the schools). Like what I wrote before about Pushy Parents.

Overall, it is a fascinating read which I am happy to add to my collection of parenting books. Now I am reading another one, which I will share soon.


Friday, February 12, 2010

Statement Pieces: The Only Kind I Love

Friends who know me well will know my love for accessories. I am the kind who adores eye-catching statement pieces.

A chunky necklace or a pair of gorgeous chandelier earrings will tempt me more than a teeny weeny sterling silver charm from Tiffany & Co. Dainty jewellery is just not my cup of tea.

Here is a confession - once a day, I will pop over to my galfriend Eva's online store - Chilicrab and drool over her irresistably beautiful one-of-a-kind pieces that she made with such passion and excellent craftsmanship! Here are a few of my favorites to share with all of you.








Thursday, February 11, 2010

Colorful Fish In Ocean

My boys initiated this idea one afternoon with utmost enthusiasm. So, of course I was more than happy to shelve my to-do list and we spent the next 3 hrs together. 

They didn't need much help with the artwork. But I had to help organize the materials on the table and take out the stationery and paint materials they need. (I must really find a way to reorganize our storage so that they can access everything themselves).

My 3 y.o. added colors and more colors over his white canvas ..... 

Adding textures.... 

A creature of the sea which he drew on his own .....  (I love love love LOVE this!)

Colored in with oil pastels and lined with black marker....  before cutting it out....

and assembled with yellow rocks on ocean bed.... 

... decorated with silver and gold bubbles and colorful glitters... (He asked me to add in a gold spiral 'coral' and I held his hand for the second one. He added the third.)


And this was done by M, his 5 y.o brother who worked alongside. M added green sea grass and beautiful gold rocks and green corals. When he finished his piece, he exclaimed proudly and excitedly 'Mama, look at my work! I am an artist!'  :>

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A Hunger Note

Two weeks ago, my 5 y.o. had to starve for half a day to empty his tummy, so as to stop his vomiting.

I came home from grocery shopping to find this handwritten note, dedicated to me. 



Because Mummy ordered the 'No Food' Rule, so the poor kid probably thought that this would earn him some sympathy points and perhaps some edible morsels for his rumbling belly. 

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Strict and The Sweet

Marcus has been especially challenging in the recent months. I have the impression that it all started to worsen since our return from London. I can't be sure why or if it has anything to do with the trip at all. Perhaps not.

Almost on a daily basis, he would deliberately disobey the simplest instructions. Most often, this has to do with the daily routine, like taking a shower, brushing teeth, changing into pajamas or eating his dinner! 

Sometimes, the culprit is his habit to dilly-dally (which is very common in most kids since they have no sense of time or urgency), hence testing my patience. Other times, he seems to be just incredibly stubborn or defiant, determined to prove a point or two. 

And then there is the almost-daily major bedtime battles which can drive me up the wall. I have announced the bedtime to be 9pm for the longest time I could remember, but the only days when that can be enforced successfully is when E is away on business trips. 

It doesn't help at all that Marcus is not getting enough sleep, hence more easily irritable than his usual self. He rises at 7am daily regardless of the time he went to bed. Despite looking tired on some days, he would still refuse naps after school. His theory - less sleep, more time to play! 

The brawling between the boys is also reaching a new intensity. There is always something to trigger a row that threatens the household peace. Now, the little Chip is not entirely innocent and angelic at all times, but he is the easier-to-handle child at this point in my life. 

Friends tell me that all their 5 y.o. offer somewhat similar challenges, so I am not alone. Still, it is a huge energy sapper for me to have to wrestle with him over such routines. Being the main caregiver, it can be really tiring and frustrating having to deal with this daily, from morning to night. 

I hate it when I have to get upset early in the morning and I dread how it will be like in a year's time when he has to be in school at 7.30am. 

I keep reminding myself to pick the 'right' battles and let go of the unimportant ones. Some days, I just ignore the bulk of them. But it doesn't work everyday. 

When I get upset with the kids, I get more upset with myself for losing control of my emotions. I know it is all normal to feel what I feel, but nonetheless, it still frustrates me because I don't want to be upset with them.

Sometimes, they push my buttons so much that I feel like bailing out. So much so that I started thinking - hey, I can save myself a lot of such battles if I just send them to a childcare centre and go back to work. Urgh! 

I came across this quote a while back...  
 

"The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days."  

Charlotte Mason


Of course it is much easier to be the lenient and most agreeable parent, so at least in the short-term, everyone is happy. But a good parent, in my opinion, is one who instills in her children the right values and good habits. 

Disciplining is real hard work. To play the role of a strict disciplinarian and still be thought of fondly as the loving mother seems like a tall order. But I cannot imagine how I could settle for less or would ever want to anyway. 

Whenever I have to hand out disciplinary measures for less-than-desirable behaviour, I make it a point to have a calmer talk with the kid(s) afterwards to discuss and explain the causes and effects and reassure them that I still love them so much, despite how upset I was earlier. 

More often than ever, I have been hanging on to the thought - within that little body is a very sweet little soul and his love for me does shine through everyday. It serves as a good reminder which instantly melts my frustration and anger away. 

My maternal instincts tell me I am not reading him right and I must connect with him more. There is something fundamental that I must grasp and change and it will all get better. 

This is just a tough phase. And it will pass. One fine day, I know I will look back and beam with pride that we got through these months with resilience and optimism, and I emerged a better parent.

Monday, February 1, 2010

'NO!!' to Crafts

When your child repeatedly rejects your enthusiastic suggestions to make a craft ladybug or paint the blue ocean, what do you do?

Some parents may think 'hey, they don't like crafts, no big deal!' and just chuck the stuff away and never to bring them out again. 

But there is another group who may think 'oh no, we must keep trying until they learn to enjoy it.' This group probably also worries that their kid may lose out the opportunity to nurture his artistic side. He may not be the next Van Gogh, but still, what if he has got a headstart in art and crafts?...  

I recommend a more balanced approach depending on your expectations and what you want to get out of him doing the crafts. Like I always tell parents in our classes, as you would have heard me say, that it always depends on parents' expectations.

So ask yourself - do you want him to do the crafts because you want to encourage him to explore and cultivate the creativity in him? Or do you want to teach him to listen to instructions or is it about working on his patience and attention span? 

Regardless of your reasons, it is ineffective to force a child who is unwilling to work on crafts. 

Some kids may throw in those extra few minutes for you, but ended up crying. It is probably better in this case, to change the objectives of the craft, encourage them with a different approach, or just shelf it and revisit later.

There are also some kids who take longer to warm up to crafts. For these kids, they may need more exposure, encouragement before they warm up. Give up too early is not the end of the world but it just means the child may miss out on opportunities to explore in this area. But persist too much and turn the child off the crafts completely is not a good idea either.

It is like social skills. Some kids are very shy and reserved. Should we expose them to playgrounds and social gatherings and gently coax them to join the group or hide them at home till they develop their social skills naturally?

Here is something which I may not have shared before since it happened before I started blogging. My older boy would run away when I first introduced him to playdoh, painting and crafts. Up till he was about 18 months old, he would get upset when there was paint or glue on his fingers. He would fuss about cleaning his hands and refuse to continue. 

I did not give up, though I did not force him either. I just continue to offer the opportunities to him and braced myself for rejections! Then one day, when he was 21 months old, it all changed! He happily made a crab craft with me which involved lots of glue and paint and got his hands, face and shirt all messy with paint. 

That taught me a lot and I was so pleased that I had persevered. 

So parents should not give up simply when the child said 'no'. Think of the possible causes for him to reject the craft and reintroduce it a few days or weeks later. Try something else that is totally different and observe his receptiveness. 

I know it is cliche but I always think that there is no other way sometimes than just plain patience and perseverance. And it doesn't just apply to crafts, but to all areas of parenting and learning. 

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