Saturday, September 29, 2007

I'm back!


For two weeks, I allowed my moods to take me somewhere else. I strolled a lot and ran sometimes, without a firm destination in mind. I knew I wanted to find someplace or maybe something, but what I wasn't sure and I don't even know if it is there in the first place.

I wondered, questioned, whined and wished. But I realised last night - I was lost. Not for long (fortunately). Babies, I am back. I'm glad to be back to where I belong.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

To the park




Usually I would pick Marcus up from school and head straight home for lunch, as I always reckon it is too hot for the boys to stay outdoors at that time. Few days ago, I decided it's time to take the boys outdoors despite the hot midday sun, after getting inspired by my fellow friends' hectic schedule.

We didn't do much, just went to the East Coast Park for 3 hours and the boys had fun. Marcus spent a lot of time just walking and pushing the stroller around, while I carried Nicholas and talked to him about the clouds, sea, ships, waves, swimmers and sandcastles. The little baby's eyes were full of wonder as he took in everything. He shouted at the swimmers and watched attentively as the waves crashed in. He laughed at the old man who swept the leaves and chuckled when the guy waved his broom around. Marcus asked a guy from the National Environment Agency if he could sit on the buggy (just like the golf buggy) as he drove past and the man was kind enough to oblige the boy's request. He was a little bashful but very excited, though he was too shy to ask the man to move it.

We didn't bring any toys or mats with us, but we should the next time. Perhaps a picnic basket and plenty of spare clothes too since the weather turned out to be great - a little hot but still breezy. With shady trees, a good hat and some sunblock, we could all have more fun. Next time...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Banana Muffins




One of Marcus' favourites which I serve for snacks or breakfast. I adapted the recipe to suit our tastes.

What I use (makes 12 large muffins):
75g unsalted butter
250g self-raising flour
1/2 tsp bicarbonate soda
1 tsp baking powder
75g sugar
3 mashed bananas
200ml full fat milk
2 eggs

Preparation
Preheat over to 200 deg celcius. Melt butter and set aside. Combine flour, bicarbonate soda, baking powder and sugar in a large bowl. Whisk the eggs into the milk, followed by the cooled, melted butter. Now pour the liquid ingredients into the dry ones and pour in the mashed bananas. Mix with a fork as you go. Batter should be lumpy, but that is what you want. Divide the mixture into muffin cups and cook in oven for 20 min.

Easy! 15 min preparation. 20 min cooking. 10 min clearing up. 1 min to devour a big muffin.

First Movie: Ratatouille

When I first saw the trailer of a rat that aspired to be a chef, I thought it would be a great film to enjoy with M. I had urged E to get the DVD, thinking M won't be ready to sit through a film in a cinema.

A week ago, I decided to give it a shot and took M to the cinema to watch his first movie while E was home to look after baby. I picked him as usual after school and we caught the double decker bus to head to Cathay Cineleisure. A nice surprise for him. It wasn't easy to pick a right timing since I had to take into consideration his school, nap and meal times. We bought tickets for 1245pm, so had only 45 min to catch a quick bite and toileting. I was more excited than he was, obviously he was oblivious to what was awaiting, though I did try to stir up some excitement by promising popcorn.

With the limited choices at Cineleisure, we settled for Pastamania - which is never a place that I would willingly step into usually. He looked at the menu and told me we have to eat the pizza. Ok, we have to wait 8 min for it. Just after I paid up, he exclaimed with his loudest voice "I am hungry. I want to eat now. Where is my lunch? I want it now! Mama, feed me please. I am starving." I am no longer embarrassed by my son's exclamations in public after being stay-home-mum for so long. Tried to feed him some garlic bread and distracting him with my observations of the surroundings. Waiter came by to inform me that our pizza will be another 8 min late. I was fuming. A hungry tot and assertive mum is not always an easy pair for an inexperienced waiter to cope. She brought the menu for M to choose an alternative and the silly boy insisted on a tiramisu. I said no and chose a baked rice dish and asked for no pepper. It was piping hot when served, after waiting another 5 min for the spoonfuls to cool down, I was annoyed to find pepper sprinkled in the rice. Urgghh... by then my hungry boy was ready to cry, kept shouting "mama, I want to eat the rice". In the end we got a refund, more garlic bread on the house, a complimentary tiramisu (which became my dessert) and rushed to the cinema.

Needless to say, the boy was hungry enough to eat 3/4 pack of the popcorn for lunch. The moment we bought the popcorn, which cost almost the same as one ticket, he stuck his hand into the pack and started digging. Asked him what he was doing, he said he was looking for a big piece. Hah! Once we were seated, he was really like a movie buff. Eyes glued to the giant screen, fingers moving non-stop, travelling from the pack to the mouth, shoving big chunks of popcorn into his tiny mouth, all the while busy chewing. He protested loudly "Mine!" "No, mama, don't eat my food" when I tried to stick my hand into the big pack. Don't know why, I was amused and embarrassed at the same time. Hmm...

Overall, I think he enjoyed the film and the experience. Probably best of all, the popcorn. I did too. Though at one point when he stopped munching, he almost dozed off and half hour before the film ended, he asked to go home. We managed to stay till the end. He rarely asked me questions, but he was obviously amused at many moments. I tried to talk to him about the characters but he won't even reply my question on the name of the rat - Remy. He did ask to eat Ratatouille food a few nights ago and drank a bowl of soup thereafter. For now, I am satisfied enough and I am sure he will be more chatty about the movie once we watch it in the comforts of our own home.


Tuesday, September 25, 2007

What a girl wants....

... is plenty of TLC, generous doses of empathy and an attentive listening ear. When there are no fellow colleagues at one's workplace, who does one go lunch with to grumble about their day? Most girls probably go home to grumble to our partners, families and friends.

When the days' events are especially tiring, stressful or the day hasn't been going well, sometimes all a girl wants, and needs really, is a listening ear who can empathise and tell her how rightful it is for her to feel this way. That she doesn't need to feel bad about it. That she is doing a good job and her efforts will pay off etc etc.... followed by plenty of hugs to shoo away all the negative energy.

The last thing a girl needs when she confides her feelings is to be told that she doesn't have the monopoly of feeling stressed/upset/frustrated etc... that everyone else in the universe is feeling the same way. Doesn't that imply "she should stop whining"? If a confidante is as insensitive, uncaring and unempathetic, who in the right mind would continue to confide in him/her?

When a girl says, "you are not very nice to me", it doesn't make her a wee bit happier to be told "you are not nice to me too" (implying she deserves it or is this an eye for an eye?). Or when she says "I am tired", she doesn't really want to hear an echoing "I am tired too!". Period. How does that make her feel better? What she wants to hear is "oh you poor sweetie, let me give you a cuddle and how can I make you feel better". The irony is we teach kids to take turns with others, as consideration for others' feelings, but as adults, we don't "take turns" to make each other feel better.

Perhaps such lacking of emotional support is forgiveable if it happens once in a blue moon. A frequency closer to the appearance of the sunset just forces one to re-evaluate the value of the relationship, especially one that is highly valued for its quality and promise of emotional support. The big question is how much time do we want to spend on relationships that do not deliver what we expect it to? When will one realise that the imaginary container that holds all the fundamentals and deposits for the relationship is leaking and what was in abundance before seems to be now slipping through our fingers like sand? Without top-up and maintainence, it is a matter of time to come home to an empty container.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Surprise!

It is no surprise to people who are close to me that I love surprises. But I must be quick to add that only pleasant surprises are welcome.

We received a bulky package yesterday addressed to me, Marcus and Nicholas. All the way from London. At first look, I thought it was from the grannies and maybe some toys and PJs. But it was NOT!

What a lovely surprise it was! A fellow friend who recently went to London had sent us a wonderful package. Accompanying the fantastic toys from ELC, was a beautiful birthday card she made with her toddler, who used to play with Marcus. There was also a really pretty card for me with the sweetest message on it. Aww... I was so moved. It touched me that she took the trouble to select the toys with the boys in mind, made us a card and sent it with a postage bill of over $30! The fact that she did it, though she really need not just made clear what a beautiful and thoughtful person she is. I am thankful for a friend like her, considering how little time we used to spend together when she was here. She did make my day yesterday and this morning when I woke up, I thought about her sweet gesture and it brought a smile to my face. A great way to start my tiring Friday. Thank you, thank you once again. I would have made her and her son some muffins and deliver them in person if they are a car ride away. One day...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

A rare reunion




A chance meeting at my yoga place led to a gathering of lost friends. Correction - I was the lost one as the rest still kept in touch over the years. I was the one who haven't seen them since we left school 16 years ago. Gee..that does sound like a long time, but it sure felt like an eon has passed.

The brief catching up was highly enjoyable as I burnt some grey matters trying to recall all the hilarious incidences the ladies couldn't stop laughing about. I have no idea how much memories I have misplaced over the years until now. It sure was tempting to blame my pregnancies for the poor memory, but truth be told, it probably was some kind of a defense mechanism to block out the past. Like how I don't remember most unhappy experiences in my past 30 years and yet I can recall vividly the most beautiful memories that I still cherish today.

It's not that my Secondary school days were anythng less than happy ones, but I won't rate those years amongst my most experiential periods of my life. Perhaps that explains why my current memories of those 4 years is mostly a blank to me. Most of what I could remember was how much time I spent playing netball (which I naively claimed to be the love of my life then), the boys in school (and yet I forgot the name of my so-called first-ever school boyfriend) and rivalry with peers over all the silly "trophies". Real pity I feel, since that was a pretty long time for a short life.

I have never been good at keeping in touch with people once they are without a strong presence in my life. It is not about social skills, or the lack of it. Rather, it has to do with a personal choice of wanting quality over quantity. Or so I remind myself every year when I receive only a handful of pressies for my birthday. :) As I mature, I become even more selective, given the intense competition available for my limited 24 hours. I make fewer good friends. Perhaps none in the last decade. However, the really good ones shall stay good forever and they know who they are. Hmm... maybe it is time to expand the social circle.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

When I am a policeman

Besides wanting to drive a bus and taxi, my boy also wants to drive the police car. He would dash to the living room window everytime we tell him that there is a police car down at the streets. A distraction tactic I deploy often and always work.

He used to ask me if he can drive the police car and where it is going. After he learnt that the police car can't be driven by just anyone, he would tell me whenever a police car passes us on the streets that "when I am a policeman, I can drive the police car", followed by several nods, as if a form of self-assurance and self-consolation.

I have yet to explain to him that policemen have bigger duties than just driving the car, but why spoil that innocence when he seems contented enough with his current assumptions.

Humpty Dumpty

Instead of that famous egg, we have a Piggy.

"Piggy Piggy sat on the wall" (as Piggy catwalked on the side of the Nicholas' cot)

"Piggy Piggy had a great fall" (and Piggy let out a sharp and loud "ahhh" and dropped into his cot)

This little act gets the baby breathless from laughing. He is so tickled by Piggy's ahhhh and how Piggy would drop into his cot.

Once recovered from the laughing, he single-mindedly moves towards the pink cuddly toy and chuck it out of his cot, onto the floor and started laughing again, in anticipation of the funny scenes of Piggy sitting and falling.




Monday, September 17, 2007

Party pictures


Marcus and two pretty guests - Kana and Emma



Kana posing with Marcus and his birthday cake.



Singing the "Happy Birthday" song to a bashful birthday boy.



Papa helping to blow out the candles before all the other kiddos' contribution of saliva.



Marcus taking the first cut of his cake, on his own. For the first time, since he was too young to do so the past 2 years.



Marcus enjoying his gigantic slice of birthday cake. He really loved it. Ate the whole yummy piece. Again, for the first time. Never liked cake before.




Me with my precious first-born. He is 3 year old! Wow!

My Mama



Marcus drew a picture of me with curly hair.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Marcus' recent pieces




He is obsessed with writing his own name on every piece of his work. His interest to draw seems to have dwindled a little recently, judging by how slowly he is depleting our stack of papers.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Oyaku-don

E just started saying this to Nicholas one day, which made the baby giggle a lot. Marcus wanted to impress, so he aped his papa and exclaimed "Oyaku don" to his little brother a few times a day. Now it is a term he uses when he wants to catch attention, make us laugh or simply say something when he has nothing else to say.

He has also learnt from his papa that this is the name of a Japanese dish. Before we left home to have dinner at a Jap restaurant, he was briefed by E of what to expect for dinner. He must have understood as the moment we reached the restaurant, he looked at the dishes on the conveyor belt going round and kept asking me "can I eat this now? I am hungry. Where is my oyaku-don?"

The moment we were seated at the table, he looked at the menu and told the waiter "I want Oyaku-don" even before I could utter a word.

He did have it and he enjoyed it too. It is very enjoyable taking him out for meals these days. He eats well and would try a good variety. He wants to try new food and would tell me "Can I try that too". He is appreciative of the chance to take public transport and sang all the way there and also the way home. He sang loud and clear and did lots of hops and skips along the way. Passers-by grinned when they hear him sing "Do Re Mi", "London Bridge is falling down", "This old man" etc.. My boy is happy. It makes me happy too.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Where is the bookworm?


Taken in August 2006

He used to be able to stay at Borders or Kinokuniya for a long while, reading through their good selections for free while I read the magazines for nothing.

He used to enjoy flipping through our collection of books and would hide in the little corner in my bedroom for a good half hour, just browsing and studying the details of each page.

These days, he prefers to be read to, especially at bedtime. He would ask for a story, usually a request that would always be repeated a few more times, as a bid to delay bedtime. Some days, he prefers a English story, but on others, only Chinese tales will do.

He has learnt that only mummy can read him Chinese stories, so he instructs his papa to go learn Chinese.

At times, he takes pride reading a book to his audience - his mama, papa, Pooky, Pig, Teddy Bear or Piggy. More recently, he just shakes his head a lot when asked to read and says "I don't know" even though he can read it. The novelty of reading out loud to impress his attentive audience is probably wearing off, or maybe he is just rediscovering the pleasure of being cuddled and read to.

Last night, he read to me a few of his rather advanced Chinese books like Dong(4) Wu(4) Yuan(2) (Zoo) and Xue(2) Da(4) Xiang(4) (Mimics the elephant). Not the whole book, or I would be popping champagne, but a few good pages from each book. Already, I find it an achievement worth mentioning and celebrating somewhat, so I am posting it to aid my memory of this elation decades later.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Nicholas - 11 month old



Counting down to his first birthday party.

My little Chip is so chatty and expressive these days. He really talks non-stop in his own baby language. Most of the time we can't understand what he says, though there are a few clear words he utters now like "mama", "papa", "car" and "duck". He tries to say "milk" when he sees the bottle and signs at same time. Would sign whenever he hears me say "milk".

He points at things and "talks" about them to us. Would point, look at me and blabber a lot.

Points at the words in books and blabber concurrently, as if reading out loud.

Loves "The Duck Quacks" and "The Very Busy Spider" books.

Can slap our hand when we say "hi-five" to him.

Will take small bottle from my hand and feed himself water.

Understand simple instructions like "give (something to) mama" and pass me the things I want. Understand "give mama piggy" and chose piggy amongst other toys, to pass to me.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Why I Stay Home

A neighbour whose 3 y.o. gal has been looked after solely by maids since birth can't speak beyond single words, expresses her needs through crying and pointing and won't talk at all in public. Her mum attributed the problem to the quality of caregiving her daughter receives but confided her own reluctance to be a stay-home mum - a tough job without perks, in her words.

The toughest part to me is the mundane routine which can bore one to tears and the massive amount of self-motivation required since we don't get appraisal, pats on the back, affirmations from bosses that we have done a great job today. There are only intrinsic rewards.

The thought of returning to work, at least on part time basis, has been on my mind for over a year. But without an acceptable childcare alternative, I can't work in peace. With our limited choices of leaving them with a maid at home or at a childcare centre, it is a decision which I have been procrastinating to make. Either one will be a compromise of the childcare quality, so the question is the extent that I am willing to accept. It is hard to say which is a better choice - the maid who possibly knows the boys' habits in the comforts of our own home, or a supposedly more professional setup with supposedly better trained people to look after their needs.

Another neighbour of mine left her 11 month old baby home with their new maid, and realised a year later that the boy's growth and development has been stunted significantly due to lack of interaction and stimulation during the period of the maid's care. She could sing, read, play and look after the baby very well when the parents were home to observe. But when the parents were at work, I often saw the maid chatting on her handphone downstairs while the baby was left in his stroller staring blankly at the wall or traffic.

Once while waiting 20 min for a cab with my boys, I saw her leaving the sleeping boy all bent and curled up in his tiny stroller downstairs while she sat comfortable on a bench behind the stroller, chatting on her phone. He was sweaty and visibly uncomfortable,with his little body all twisted and head slanted on an odd angle. Fed up with what I saw, I whipped out my camera pretending to take a picture of Marcus who was standing next to the stroller. Possibly realising what I intended to do, she kicked the back of the stroller so hard to wake him, who indeed woke in shock. Satisfied, she returned to her phone conversation as if nothing happened.

She fed him boiled frozen vegetables with plain rice for lunch while she spent long time having picnic with other maids at the nearby park. She yanked at his skinny arms when he doesn't walk fast enough and dressed him in thin sleeveless tees to go to freezing supermarket and mall. These are only what I saw and may not be representative of how she treats him behind closed door, but this is the problem too. If the maid doesn't bother to treat the kid well enough outside, how much better can she be looking after him when they are within the security of their own home, without prying eyes and another loving adult's supervision?

The boy's dad shared his view that in retrospect, they should have gotten rid of the maid long ago. The boy stopped speaking beyond the first few words he uttered when the maid first came and now at 2, he still doesn't say beyond "papa" and "mama". He stopped pointing either and is often expressionless.

If I go to work tomorrow, it probably won't make such a big difference to Marcus anymore, given his independence and current routine. His language skills may not progress as rapidly or even regress a little, but nothing major enough that we can't address later. The one I can't bear is Nicholas and I hate to think of the possibility of his development being stunted. E doesn't think it is a big deal, that they will be just fine looked after by someone else, if it makes me happy to return to work. Hmm.. not exactly music to my ears, though I appreciate his understanding. Don't we want our bosses to tell us that we are indispensable at our job, regardless of how we feel?

Happy Birthday to Marcus!


The verdict is obvious. We have had a great party. A look across the room and everyone can see how much fun the kids all had at Marcus' 3rd birthday party today. The party started at 11am and 75% of guests arrived by 1130am. The kids just laughed, played, ate, drank and played more till 2pm. Since most of the kids are at least 3 year old, the kids could play Pass-The-Parcel and the Pin-the-tail game for a Bear and a Cow which E drew.

As usual, we catered way too much food. Even after everyone had at least 2 helpings and some even had their third, we still have 1/3 of food left behind. The food was great though, especially the yummylicious mee goreng, chicken curry and sweet & sour pork. The kids couldn't stop helping themselves to the delicious cereal crackers and mashmallows and all the kids came back for more helpings to the melt-in-mouth strawberry & fresh cream cake which Marcus chose himself. I bought a slice a fortnight ago for Marcus to try and the moment he saw it, he asked me sweetly "mama, can I eat the cake please?". He shared with me, but kept holding my hand, as if worried that I would not feed him. He ate 3/4 of that slice, so when I asked him if he liked it and wanted it to be his birthday cake, he immediately shouted a really loud "YES!". It was indeed so divine that all the neighours wanted to know where it was from and most mums had at least 2 helpings. The whole cake was quickly devoured, except for one piece that I saved for my dessert to accompany my cuppa now. :)

We were a little disappointed though that while all the guests had so much fun, Marcus seemed a little reserved this morning and didn't want to participate in the games at all. He didn't pin the tail and was reluctant to pass the parcel, so he was more like a spectator. Though towards the end of the party, he did warm up and played with some kids, but it wasn't really what I had expected of him. He was probably overwhelmed by the crowd and how all the attention fell on him. He didn't even sing or hum to his favourite Do Re Mi tune when we played it on the stereo. Like all the other kids, he did enjoy the cake very much. For the first time ever, he ate a gigantic piece and asked for more mashmallows. I don't usually give him that, but since this is his party, I went to Candy Empire and got a big pack of the colourful mashmallows to surprise him. It did delight him lots. So with the help of mashmallows, balloons and Hello Panda biscuits, and not forgetting the beautiful Kana, we can be sure that he had some fun today. He didn't care about the presents at all despite his eager parents' urgings for him to rip the parcels apart.

My little Nicholas had some fun too, though he was a little neglected. He was left in his pram for a long while, sitting next Karen's 7 month old Ethel. It was obvious that he enjoyed Ethel's company a lot as he couldn't stop looking at her and wanted to touch her and her pram often. The babies had Baby Bites and sat side by side in the middle of the party room, taking in the buzz and sights, while allowing the occasional adults to come near and coo at them.

It was a great party and I can't and won't take any credit for it really as papa has done most of the work. He wanted to, so I let him. I only booked the venue, designed the invitation and sent to a bunch of people, got the caterer and cake and tied the loose ends. Papa prepared the games, bought the party bags, decorated the room, and got the life of party going.

I had initially wanted to cook and prepare most of the party food as I always feel that the party food is the core of the party. It is my way of showing my love for Marcus (not that Marcus would really be able to tell the difference at this age), by cooking and preparing the food myself. Whenever I go to a kid's party, I don't look for over-the-top catered food, but what warms my heart the most is when I see dishes after dishes of home prepared food that are suitable for kids. I know then that the host has put in thoughts and efforts to cater to the needs of the kids. It is a kids' party after all. But I admit it's hard work to cater home-cooked food for 30 adults and 20 kids, like we did last year. So when E suggested catering this time, I gave in. It wasn't a bad choice, just a little too expected I feel. The party was a big hit nonetheless and what's most important is the guests and birthday boy had fun. Now I just have to wait patiently for Marcus to wake from his nap and encourage him to open his presents to satisfy my curiosity and for E to recover from his party planner exhaustion and upload the videos and photographs we took.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

I feed you

After refusing to self-feed for almost 11 months, Marcus finally agreed to feed himself half a bowl of muesli yesterday and I just praised him to the sky. He was delighted and so was I.

Today, he insisted on feeding himself his bowl of fried eggy udon with chicken for lunch and he was really good at it. Pleased with his achievement, he wanted to feed me too. He kept pestering me with his "Mama, I feed you! Mama, let me feed you." So I gave in and he had such fun directing the spoonful of food into my mouth while I opened my mouth as wide as possible. Then he tried to feed me the chicken bones. I told him I am not a dog, so I don't eat bones. He paused, and looked a little surprised. Then he said "Mama, when you become a dog, can I feed you the bones please?" with his wide eye innocence. I couldn't stop laughing, told him that I would not turn into a dog. Then he laughed and exclaimed "Mama is not a dog. So cannot eat bones."

God's house

Children believe everything that adults tell them, especially their trusted parents. E told Marcus one day that God lives in the church when they passed by one and ever since, Marcus would always tell me that God lives up there, pointing to the highest point of the church and when I asked him for his source, he referred to his papa proudly. But the confused boy also commented that God lives in the airplane, up in the sky. We don't know where he got that idea from though.

We passed by the church again tonight on our way to buy dinner and he kept "shhh shh shhh" the whole time when we were in the church compound. Asked him why, he won't say, but just whispered a lot and kept looking up at the church.

So he says...

"It's OK, mama. It's OK. Don't worry, mama." Marcus says in a reassuring tone, usually when he wants to do something that he knows I disallow or discourage previously, like walking on wet floor or walking away from dinner table with mouthful of food.

"I am just standing here" (standing in a corner with arms folded and looking all "cool")

"Be careful! Careful!" He says that a lot to us and to his toys, and a few times he yelled anxiously at some friends who were running real fast on an overhead bridge. He appeared genuinely concerned about them.

"The floor is wet, mama. Walk slowly. Caution.Wet floor." (As he reads the warning sign).

"I say wait, ok? Wait mama." Usually when he is being asked for the 10th time to take a bath or at bedtime.

"Just for one minute, ok? I finish this first." especially when he was playing, which is ALL the time, and was asked to do something else.

"Can I play with my fire-engine pleaaasssee, for just one minute?"

"Stop doing that to me" whenever we tell him something that he doesn't like to do, like brush teeth, wash face or take bath.

"Mama, don't be angry." he said that once to me when I was really angry with his papa and he came to the room looking for me, cupped my face and gave me a kiss while saying this softly. Aww...

"Ooh la mer" which he copies from Finding Nemo.


Everything that a 3 year-old says is especially cute since they are almost always accompanied by such innocence. But of course, I am a mum who is completely in love with my boy, so even his "NO!" is cute to me in some ways. His speech is sometimes so adult-like and yet sometimes, he still speaks like a toddler. The part I love the most is how his sentences are peppered with innocent remarks and cute exclamations, yet they are in complete sentences with almost perfect grammer. But I can't say the same for his Mandarin though...

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Aspiration

I often catch myself worrying for a split second whenever I hear Marcus announce in his playing that he is a taxi-driver, or bus driver or some kind of blue collar profession. Once, he said "mama, I am driving the garbage truck now. I am going to dump garbage." I laughed but it was slightly worrying really, though it does seem silly to be worrying in the first place. This is only part of his fantasy role playing and whatever that he is acting out to be at age 3, should not and would not be an indication of his preferred profession at adulthood. Anyway, I can't help it and had to remind myself that I am being silly.


He is very interested in his taxis and buses right now, so of course he wants to be the guy driving them. Though I did ask him once if he wants to drive a nice big car, a taxi or a bus and he said without hesitation, he wants to drive a bus! Hah!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Grey

This is one of those weeks when the sky looks permanently grey and everywhere I look, there are no reasons to be really elated, except for the sake of my boys. And it is one of those periods when even for their sakes, I require constant reminders to myself to avoid getting in a melt down every hour. 

I get emotional way too easily over minor things and whatever that affect me, will get me spiralling down for hours or even days. I can't seem to get out of the mood, and it upsets me. I need cuddles, but the quota just doesn't get met. I have to sweet talk Marcus to give me a hug now and then for the incredibly feel-good effect to lift my mood. 

I probably need external help to get to the root of the problem and I know they are there. In fact, I know what they are, but in my rational mind, I know there are no good solutions right now, so I just feel like I have to suffer. I am grumpy and feeling increasingly exasperated but I know no better way out. 

There are only two people who are willing to listen to me grumbling non-stop about my troubles, patient enough to listen to me for two hours straight despite their busy lives. At least I feel that they geniunely care enough about me to lend a listening ear. They don't interrupt or jump into conclusions and try to get me out of depression by giving advices when asked, or just keep quiet when they know I just want to talk, the way a woman needs to talk to clear her mind and to feel better. I don't have to hide my feelings or censor my thoughts since they won't judge me. They are not calculative, so I won't hear them tell me that they sound grumpy because I sound grumpy first. But they are '000 miles away and time difference is an obstacle, though they don't mind paying hefty call charges for me to talk my heart out. Still, my need to talk at times like this is enormous and I can't call them all the time. I probably need a different outlet. 

Monday, September 3, 2007

Three year old

Marcus turns 3 today! 

I couldn't stop admiring and kissing him the whole day. And I couldn't stop comparing him now with the first time I saw him, i.e. when Dr. Tseng first held him up to show me and he was all wet and puffy and crying loudly. My boy has grown so much. I am a proud mummy and I wish that he can feel every bit of my love for him.

When I picked him up from school today, he insisted on giving me kisses and when we were waiting for the lift at the condo lobby, he cupped my face, looked at me seriously and and told me he is going to kiss mama, which he did. He planted 12 wet kisses on my cheeks and lips and announced later that he "loves me and has just kissed mama". Aww...

We felt some guilt that he didn't get to do anything special today. It is a school day, so he still had to go to school since I forbid skipping school for non-medical reasons. Papa was heartbroken when he cried outside class and wanted to follow papa to work. Back home, he just stayed in the whole afternoon to play with his toys and seemed contented enough, though occasionally he would look out of the window and tell me "mama, it is raining, so we must take taxi to go Toys R Us". We didn't make it to Toys R Us anyway, but shall make up to him this week.

Toys R Us is his current top destination choice and it probably will stay so for a while. Whenever he gets into a taxi, he would instruct the driver "Uncle, go Toys R Us please." Sometimes he will tell me "Mama, Toys R Us is waiting for me.", or " I need to go to Toys R Us to buy more toys".

In his role plays with his toys, he would pretend that the fire-engine is going to Toys R Us to put out fire or that the policeman is driving the police car to Toys R Us. Sometimes, Sulley or Boo will go there and wait for Marcus to buy toys together.

He told E earlier that "Marcus will take papa to school and collect you later". When asked, where will Marcus be going then, he replied "to Toys R Us".

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Expressions

He is my baby, so of course I have soft spots for him. But when he shows me some of his expressions, I just know that he is getting everything he wants from me. I simply can't resist him. I can't be sure if it is because he is just that drop dead gorgeous and cute or is it because I think that this may be my last few months to enjoy this babyishness from a baby of my own, so I relish it. Whatever the reasons, he does make me cuddle and pamper him a lot and I just give in way too easily to every demand of his. I admit it - I love to spoil him.





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